It’s not until the early hours of the morning that we calm down and lie together naked on the bed with the moonlight shining on us through the window.
The Valkyrie is lying cocooned in my arms with her hands on my chest. Her soft body is pressed against the hard planes of mine, but our hearts beat together as if we’re one being.
In the calm, I sense even more that she knows about the past. She hasn’t stopped touching me in some way. It’s like she’s scared to stop. I know the feeling because I don’t even want sleep to take me away from her.
Or the truth. Talking about the truth will pull us from this moment. I don’t want it to.
In the real world, I’ve spent the last few days with Zakh, Malik and our men looking for Uther, my childhood monster, who has mysteriously disappeared.
Disappeared as in no one has seen or heard of him for days and his house is empty as if he’s moved town and country.
That motherfucker managed to blindside me and slip away under my radar. And I don’t have a fucking clue what he’s up to.
Him being the wielder of the poison that leaves my father hanging on to life adds to the theory that something else is going on. Something weird, considering Uther has worked for my father for a lifetime.
It’s going to be something that will undoubtedly wreck my plans at some point and seek to overthrow all that I’ve accomplished. We’re looking for Uther, but there’s no way Viktor isn’t involved.
He’s still the only person this points to, but at this stage Viktor looks clean. Too clean, in my eyes. Which is just as much a sign of guilt as a dirty motherfucker.
I have eyes on him, but I don’t know if I’m looking in the wrong place and missing all the things I’m supposed to see.
Anastasia’s warm fingers trace the outline of the flowers tattooed on my shoulder, and I switch my attention back to her.
“Why flowers?” Her voice is low and cautious. When she looks at me, I see pain in her eyes again. Along with guilt.
Guilt that prompts me to address the elephant in the room. Since I got that tattoo in memory of my mother, I decide to start with that.
“They’re Lisianthus’. They were my mother’s favorites.” I keep my voice even, trying not to show too much emotion as I remember how Mom used to always have fresh flowers in the house. It was her thing to do every Friday. “I wanted to carry a piece of her close to my heart. If you look closely, you’ll see I have another scar, just underneath.”
I look at Anastasia. Tears fill her eyes, showing her pain for me. They stream down her cheeks, and she looks away from me.
“Ehlga told you what happened to my mother and me, didn’t she?” I lift her chin, guiding her gaze back to me and I wipe the tears from her cheeks.
“Yes, and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“I know you are. I am too, but I don’t blame you. I’ve never blamed you in that way. So you mustn’t either.”
“I feel terrible. I can’t believe my father did all that to you and took away your mother.”
“Your father was just the instrument, the biggest monster ismyfather.”
“I know, but it was my father who killed her and did so much to you. He’s killed the love I have for him. And I know there’s more. So much more. I know in my heart that my nightmares mean something. There’s something terrible locked away in my mind that’s to do with my father.”
“There’s a lot going on with your father, Anastasia. Things that will soon become out of my control. I need you to prepare yourself for the worst.”
“You allowed him to live.”
I have to be real with her. No more beating around the bush. “I allowed him to live for the moment. I wanted him to lose everything first because that’s how you truly punish a man like him.”
More tears slide down her cheeks. “I wish I could fix it.”
“Nothing can fix it, baby girl. All we can do is move forward. You and me.”
“Do you think we can?”
“We’re going to. Because I’m not letting you go. Ever.”
She smiles through her tears and lifts herself up to kiss me.