“Yes, Anastasia. Here’s why. You’re not a crier. I’ve only seen you cry one time, and that was because you were in pain. You were in pain tonight. A different sort of pain for love lost. No matter what you and I have, you grieved the loss of the man you thought Viktor was. The man you wanted to be with. The man you love.”
His words seep into me, stalling my mind.
“I was upset because he was never true to me.”
“Exactly. And that’s the problem. You were upset. If you didn’t still love him, you wouldn’t be so hurt. You would feel nothing but relief that you escaped being with a cheater. But you’re so blinded by love for him, what’s right in front of you is not enough.” He pauses for a beat, and my mind stops too as I see the grievous error I made. And I regret it. “I can’t bleed Viktor from your heart or drain him from your soul. I can’t steal those parts of you because they still belong to him. That’s the reminder I needed. Along with the fact that you are Uther Sidorov’s daughter. My enemy forever. That’s what you are to me. No longer my Valkyrie.”
His crude words scrape deeper than the layers of my skin, cutting into my bones. I’m so fragile I dare not breathe in case I shatter into a million shards from which I’ll never be able to put myself back together again.
Desmier slips off the bed, and I lift myself up.
“Desmier—”
“Don’t. Do not speak. You heard what I said and I mean it.”
I stare back at the man I just lost as he drags on his pants and grabs a t-shirt and his biker jacket from the wardrobe. Then he walks out the door without looking at me.
As the door slams, I realize I just lost the only man I’ve ever truly loved.
My husband.
Chapter35
Desmier
Irush down the stairs like a madman, shrugging into my jacket as I descend.
Fucking hell.
I need to kill something or at least shoot something. Anything to get Anastasia out of my head.
Fuck Viktor, and fuck everything.
Fuck my heart.
I knew better than this—to fall for a woman I shouldn’t have.
I should fucking hate her just for being Uther’s daughter. And yet, even as I think that word—hate—I can’t do it. Even now when the truth is laughing at me, telling me I couldn’t break her love for Viktor and I was always second best.
My mind has been all over the fucking place since Anastasia Sidorov came into my life. I just made everything worse when I turned her into Anastasia Volkova and officially made her mine.
I was ready to kill Viktor when he kissed her earlier because I thought of her as my wife. Then a different type of fury struck me when I got the rest of the story and saw how crushed Anastasia looked.
I perfectly understood her reasons for being upset, but I didn’t want her to be because she’s with me. That’s supposed to be better than Viktor.
But it’s not.
How can it be when I stole her?
And there, that’s the problem. I stole her because she was the daughter of my enemy. She was never supposed to mean anything to me.
We were always wrong, so no matter what I do, I can’t make us right.
I was the one who blurred the lines between us. Now I need to heed the rude reminder of what she’s supposed to be and pull my head out of my ass. I need to get back on track and cut this vision of the loving wife and a future from my head.
I came here and did what I needed to do. Once things are on track, I can head back out to sea in a few weeks, where I belong.
By then my part ownership of the vineyard should be transferred to her and the threat removed. The lawyers said it would take about four to six weeks to do so, in keeping with the cooling period. I was hoping to wait until that had happened before I told her the truth, but she needed to know tonight. I just hope I haven’t shot myself in the foot by revealing it. If I have, I’ll need to be prepared for whatever comes of it.