Silas’s longing-filled gaze tugs me toward him. The weird emotion radiating from him confuses me. He acts exhausted and desperate for the rest only I can offer him.
“We’ve both had bad luck with love,” I say, feeling lightheaded when his pale blue eyes watch me with such passion. “The only difference is I never loved the men I lived with, but you loved your wife.”
“No, I loved a lie. She was never what I needed, but her lies made me feel good. The Kati I loved was never real. That’s why she could treat me so cruel. The woman I imagined didn’t love that way, but the real Kati felt unsatisfied by me.”
“She hurt you.”
“I hurt myself. I don’t even know why. I didn’t feel lonely. Something about her triggered a need in me. But I knew she wasn’t special. So, I lied to myself so I could keep hold of that feeling.”
Despite my fear of the answer, I ask, “How can you know you’re not doing that now?”
“I don’t,” he mutters, seeming tired now. “But I like having you here. My plan got fucked up, and I hated all those people around today. But just us here feels right.”
Studying him, I say, “I don’t know if I’m what you need, but I’ve kept my promise not to lie. About anything, even to protect your feelings. I told you the truth all day.”
“Was that really so hard?”
“Yes. I’m exhausted from it, actually.”
Silas grins. “You’ll get the hang of it.”
“Just like you’ll learn to love the name Brigitte.”
Grunting, he shrugs. “Probably.”
“My name sounds like laundry. I’m not in any position to mock names.”
Silas chuckles and returns his hand to my belly. “I’ve decided the double-B thing is good. Brigitte Bennings sounds like a person I’d hang out with.”
My heart tightens under his warm gaze. I consider touching his rugged face, just to know how his skin feels under my fingertips. I think of him in his boxers and T-shirt last night. I’m very curious about his body against mine.
The longer we’re together, the more intoxicating Silas becomes. I only hope he feels the same way about me.
SILAS
Sitting with me onthe couch in the quiet house, Landry rips away another layer of my self-control. She reveals more of herself, from her teasing to her tears.