“Look, let me show you something,” she says handing me the ice cream and taking the laptop back. “There’s a drug that will cause me to release multiple eggs and it’s low risk. Here it’s called Clomiphene.”
Hope takes root again. She’s really been digging into this idea. She’s sold. All I have to do is plant the seed with Gio. My dream is right ahead of me.
But he doesn’t want children and he’s going to put an end to this.
The thought taunts me and tries to steal my wish. I won’t let it. Not after waiting all my life.
“That’s awesome. However, it’s not time to take this to him.”
“I know. It’s the worse time to ask him. I’m just getting the information together. He has until I’m thirty-five. That’s my decision. If this isn’t over by then. I’m going to explore my options.”
“Nyla,” I say warily. “We know this can still take time.”
“Yeah, that’s why I’m giving myself a time line. I love him, but this can’t be it. I want more than a hollow relationship. And he can’t use you as a placeholder.”
I look at her, feeling a little guilty. I have been filling in for Gio, where he can’t give Nyla what she needs, but that’s what our relationship is about. I thought she understood that.
“I see your thoughts. Yes, I like that you two are two parts of a whole, but sometimes you pull more than your weight. That’s not fair to any of us. Sometimes, I just need him. Who he’s supposed to be to me. You know?”
“Yeah, I get it. By the way, he’s not coming tonight.”
“I figured,” she mumbles.
“Why aren’t you with him?”
“He didn’t need me today.”
“Hm.”
“Come on. I’ll get the dominos and you owe me a pint of ice cream.”
She sticks her tongue out. “It was so good too. Don’t you know sharing is caring? You did a service to the community.”
“The community is greedy, and I want my ice cream.”
“I’ll make that happen. You just keep waiting.”
“Come on, brat.”
“You love me.”
I peck her soft lips. “I do.”
CHAPTER 48
Bleeding Heart
Nyla
Four years later…
It’s almost Christmas. I need to finish my shopping. I want to get Lizzy some new books. At eighteen, her taste is all over the place.
I figured I’d come to the house to look through her current books and take a peek into her closet. I’ll probably pick up a few new outfits for her.
“Hey, Ny, what’s up?” Elijah says as he walks past Lizzy’s room.
“Hey, Dad.”
“You sticking around for lunch. This old man could use the company.”
“You’re old?” I chuckle. “Yeah, why not? I’m just checking out Lizzy’s things to see what I can get her for Christmas.”
He nods. “I’m going to make us lunch. See you downstairs.”
“See you,” I murmur as I look over the books open on Lizzy’s desk. I pick one up and a slip of paper falls to the floor.
I bend down to pick it up. My brows knit as I read the words on the page. Tears fill my eyes and I take in a sharp breath. I drop to my knees and sob.
I knew Lizzy wasn’t happy with her high school and she tends to stay to herself, but I didn’t know she was being bullied. Oh my God.
I keep reading the words over and over, trying to understand. My sister is so sweet. I can’t believe she’s been thinking of taking her life.
My cell rings and I try to pull it together to answer. I wipe a hand under my nose and bring the phone to my ear. My hand is shaking.
“Hello?”
“What’s wrong?” Gio demands.
I break down again, not able to hold it in. “Lizzy. She’s being bullied at school, and she wrote a suicide note. Gio, why? I can’t lose her. How didn’t I see this?”
“Baby, calm down. Did you talk to her?”
“No, she’s not here. I’m going to fuck them all up.”
“Nyla, you can’t do that, baby, and that’s not going to fix whatever is going on with Lizzy.”
“Then I’m going to make her fuck them up.”
“You said she doesn’t have a lot of friends. Maybe she needs something to do, someone to hang with.”
“I try to make time for her as much as I can. I work, I can’t always be here.”
“I know that, baby. Maybe Gwen can find something for her to do so she’s around you more. I promise there’s a way to fix this. Talk to her, find out what she’s thinking. I’ll be home tonight. We’ll talk about it.”
“Thanks, Gio. This means a lot.”
“Anything for you. She’s going to be fine.”
I pull the phone from my ear and hang up. I sit with the note in my hand for I don’t know how long. I plan to talk to Lizzy all right. When I’m done, she’s going to know she’s perfect and she’s going to fuck those kids up.