“Axel, shut up. You are crazy.” They both laughed as he sat things on his kitchen counter and put her on speaker.
“Is there really a pornographic magazine called ‘Forest Hump’s Adventures’?”
“I don’t know about a magazine, but there’s a porno movie with that name, and other movie title spoofs like, ‘Add Mama to the Train,’ ‘The Slutty Professor,’ ‘Pulp Friction,’ and ‘Bi-curious George.’”
“You are sick!” She cackled.
“How am I sick? You’re the one laughin’.” He got a plate out of a cabinet.
“You actually know the names of these movies.”
“I know more than just the names. I starred in a few,” he teased. ‘Beverly Hills, 9021-Ho!’
“Pervert.”
“And ‘I Dream of Weenie’. What are you doing?” Should I use this lettuce? It looks kind of wilted…
“Working. You’re weird.”
“Yeah, but doing what exactly? ‘Whorrey Potter and the Sorcerer’s Balls’… I wore a black magician cape in that one, and nothin’ underneath.”
“STOP!” She laughed so hard this time, she began coughing.
He opened the bread, placed it on the plate, then grabbed a butter knife from the cutlery drawer. Meanwhile, he could hear ‘I Love Rock and Roll’ by Joan Jett playing from his neighbor’s house.
“I’m waiting.”
“Like you really want to know what I did at work today.”
“I do!” He went back to the refrigerator, grabbed a two-liter of Mountain Dew, and poured himself a tall glass.
“I know this may sound boring to most people, so I won’t get into the details, but earlier this morning I finished up a couple of memoirs. I had to take care of them in the sterile lab. I always wear gloves anyway, but these were so delicate that one wrong turn and the book could fall apart. They’re handwritten, and beautiful. They were found in an estate in Indiana.”
“Oh, okay.”
“Like I said. Boring. But I am lovin’ it.”
“It’s not boring to me.” He took his sandwich and drink and sat down at the kitchen table, happy to get off his feet. “And I’m glad you’re enjoying it because we really should like our jobs. We spend too much time doin’ them not to.”
“That’s true. It’s hard for me to wrap my brain around you liking your occupation, Axel, but I know you do. It’s obvious you take great pride in your work. I salute you. I do. I know I couldn’t do it, though. It’s one thing to read about gruesome stuff in some of these books. Many times the details are true, and that’s chilling enough. It’s another to see it with your own eyes.”
“Well, it’s understandable to feel that way, but as we discussed, it doesn’t disturb me the way it bothers most folks. At the end of the day, I’m makin’ an honest living, and while doing it, I’m helping people. That’s important to me.”
“I love that about you… Not trying to darken the mood or anything, but I can’t shake what you told me.”
“What did I tell you?”
“That story you told me yesterday about that lady’s fingers… Oh my God… made me sick! But I couldn’t stop listening to you. You’re a great storyteller, you know that? You should look into doing audiobook work. Your voice would be perfect for southern mysteries and suspense. It’s deep. Baritone.”
“I don’t think I’d like that sort of gig, but what I told you was all true. One of my first times on the job, too. Can you imagine getting your cherry bust like that? They never did find her killer. That situation would have most people runnin’ for the hills.”
“I want you to tell me more stories about what you’ve seen and dealt with. I find it so fascinating. True crime is sort of a guilty pleasure of mine.”
“You keep asking me for more and more stories. You’re kind of sick, too,” he teased.
“It’s a morbid curiosity.”
“Yeah… I get it.”
She was quiet for a bit as he washed down his food with the pop. Something special was happening. A bonding. A friendship. That initial physical response to the long-legged, gorgeous woman had morphed into something deeper and more important. The shallow layers were pulled apart, revealing the loveliness of a brilliant mind. She understood and appreciated his sense of humor—laughed at his jokes. She kissed him back with the same desire he showed her. She was hard-working and took pride in her job, and from her words, she had a good mama, daddy, and homelife. He thought about her far more often than he’d ever admit. It was almost too good to be true.
“Thank you for not pressuring me to move faster than uh… than I want to, Axel. I know you’re more than likely screwing someone else, because you’re not my man or anything like that and you have needs, but—”
“Hold on, hold on.” What the hell was she going on about? “I have to interrupt you. Let’s get some stuff straight, okay?”