“Tommy, I really don’t give a shit about your approval.”
“Now you don’t have to go gettin’ all upset and your briefs all in a bunch!”
“I’m not upset. I’m not angry with you anymore. We’ve gotten past that. This is who you are. I accept you for who you are and expect little, but appreciate any positive things you do or say, all the same. I love ya, Daddy, as God is my witness, but your approval is the last thing I search for, all right? And just in case you’re confused about how serious I am, as much as I love Mama, even her disapproval wouldn’t have mattered, or stopped me from making this woman my wife. Ya hear me?”
“I hear you, but that ain’t the reason I—”
“You’ve got some nerve. It cuts both ways. English’s parents, especially her father, wasn’t too keen on me at first, either, though he didn’t say it. He was polite when we first met, but had some reservations. I could read between the lines. English didn’t care about that, just like I didn’t. It was because of the color of my skin. You see how ridiculous that sounds? Someone was judging your son for the same unfair reason you judge others. Me and her father are fine now, though. We’re fishin’ buddies when I head out that way, and we have a good ol’ time. He treats me like his flesh ’nd blood son now.
“It’s a hurdle. Racism and prejudice don’t happen in no bubble. I had some of it too growin’ up around you and others… just regurgitating what I was hearing around me from you and your friends. The evil of it all. I didn’t know no better, but Mama corrected me right fast and in a hurry once she heard me say something awful that she didn’t approve of. I was only like six or seven, talkin’ like that. Daddy, you have to build a relationship with folks, and stop judging books by their cover. It’s sickening how we are in modern times, and folks are still carrying on about mess like this! It’s fuckin’ stupid.”
“I’ve been around longer than you, Axel. You’re still young. I’ve seen some things that Black folks do. Not all of ’em… but enough of ’em.”
“And you’ve seen White folks do some fucked up shit, too, and yet you keep extending the olive branch. Don’t matter the color of the person. There’s people of every race that ain’t shit. It ain’t got nothin’ to do with race. It has to do with character.”
“Well, I agree with you ’bout that. I’m sure there’s some mighty fine folks that are Black.”
“One day, you’ll have more grandkids, Daddy. I ’magine Dallas will get married and have another baby or two, and I plan to have some, too. The ones from me and your daughter-in-law won’t be lily white. They’ll be half Black. And they’ll know it. And they’ll be proud about it. They’ll know both sides of their family, with or without you. They’ll be content. Well fed. Clothed, and most importantly, loved. Their father will be in their life, ’cause ain’t nothin’ or nobody gonna stand between me and my children. Not no drugs. No alcohol. No job. Not a motherfuckin’ thing. Tellin’ them the truth is how I’ll show love, too… being my authentic fucked up self, in all my glory!”
“But a child should stay in a child’s place.”
“And an adult should train up their child in the way in which he should go.”
His father was quiet on the other end for a spell.
“I didn’t call you to put a damper on your day, son. I ain’t callin’ to guilt you, or make you do somethin’ you don’t want to do, either. I wasn’t raised around that sort of thing is all. It’s different to me. I’m old school, but I’m tryin’, son.” Axel took a deep breath. “Dallas told me English is a real nice lady, and they get along plenty. I’m trying… be patient with me…”
Axel sighed, closed his eyes, and ran his hand down his face in frustration.
“I’m pitiful, I know.” Dad laughed sadly. “I know I disappoint you often. I want you happy, son, and if this gal makes you happy, then I’m going to show up, sober, and be there for you and her. You asked me to come to yer weddin’, and come hell or high water, I’m comin’. Tammy told me it’s never too late to try ’nd be a good dad to you and Dallas. I reckon she’s right. I got a bit of the shakes, not used to not drinkin’ first thing in the morning, but I’ll be okay. I’ll be there soon, ya hear? Don’t you fret. I love you.” Daddy’s voice cracked, and he could tell the old man was crying when the phone call suddenly ended.