Imogen: It wasn't just him.
Back then, I was on my first round of meds. I didn't know better there, either. They killed my O, and I didn't want to do the work of finding it or switching meds. It was easier to tell myself it didn't matter, to do whatever he suggested.
I barely questioned it.
So many of the girls I knew were the same. They were sexually curious, sure, but they were also willing to follow a guy's lead.
It seemed… normal.
Imogen: It wasn't just him. I wasn't open that way back then. And I figured that was sex. It was fun, in some ways, but more for connection than satisfaction.
Only I didn't feel connected with him either. But really, that wasn't on him. At least, not just him. I wasn't really there.
Julie: But not with Patrick?
Imogen: It feels different. But I don't know if I'm capable.
Julie: You're such a drama queen.
Imogen: It's possible. Maybe it's not for me.
Julie: You like him. I can tell. And you're obviously enjoying the sex.
Imogen: There's more to relationships than sex.
Julie: It's a start though. It's more than you had with Zack.
Imogen: I liked Zack.
Julie: After two weeks?
Imogen: At first, I thought he was smart and cool and opinionated. It took a while for the luster to wear off.
Julie: Why didn't you end things then?
Imogen: I wanted to see if it got better, to see if I would like it more.
Julie: But you never did?
Imogen: Never.
Julie: What happened with Patrick? You brought up his deep, dark secret?
Imogen: Don't mock.
Julie: Okay. I won't. But you did talk about the thing you found?
Imogen: We did. It felt good, actually. Like I could be myself with him.
Julie: The opposite of Zack?
Imogen: I guess so. But it's new. There's still plenty he doesn't know.
Julie: Like your love of Taylor Swift?
Imogen: Only you get to know that. And it's only the one album.
Julie: Uh-huh. Uh-huh.