“You’re probably right,” she finally agrees. “I don’t think anyone is hanging out with him the way they were before. Jake is completely wrapped up in Charleigh, and doing everything he can to be a good father for Layla. Marshall’s so focused on Bianca, it’s sickening.”
“I thought there was another kid we used to play with when we were little.” My nose scrunches up at my own use of the word “kid.” We’re no longer children playing in the dirt. Some of us are on the cusp of twenty, or have already left our teen years behind. It feels silly using those words to describe us now.
Tapping her finger on her chin, she nods. “There was. His name is Dylan but he kind of bailed on everyone here at the end of last summer.” She glances around as if she’s deep in thought. “I think Marshall has reached out to him a few times, and never got a response.” Another bite of pretzel and a shrug. “I’m not really sure what happened since they all stopped talking to me after I broke things off with Jake. Well, except for Marshall. He’s always there for everyone. I do know that Randall can’t rely on Dylan anymore. Not now that he’s forgotten anyone here exists.”
I consider asking her why he doesn’t hang out with the friends he still has. But I know his reasons. I’ve felt them. As much as people want to include you in things, the exclusion is apparent. It’s difficult being part of a group when they all have someone they can lean on, and you’re off to side not knowing what to do.
“Let’s go shop and find some things to decorate my new shelf.” Tonya scoots her chair back and stands.
“Don’t you already have figurines?”
“Yep, but it doesn’t hurt to get a few more.” She grabs her trash before turning. “Are you coming?”
“Sure,” I exhale. “Only on one condition.”
“What’s that?” Adjusting the strap of her purse to keep it from falling off her shoulder. Her foot begins to tap. Patience is something my cousin has never possessed.
“You stop intervening on my behalf. I’m a big girl, and I can handle things myself.” My butt is not going to leave this chair until she agrees. As much as I love her thoughtfulness, it drives me to my breaking point when she tries to do what she thinks is best for everyone else.
A pained look crosses her face, knowing she’s thinking about all the drama I’ve already been through. “Deal.” She waves me toward her. “Maybe we can also find some stuff to make the room at my mom’s house truly yours.”
Decorating my room hasn’t been at the top of my to do list. Nothing has really. Maybe adding my own touch will help me feel more at home. I wish I would have brought some of my things from home. Doing that would have brought reminders, though. It’s time for me to make a change, and this is the first step toward doing just that. “Let’s do this.”
“That’s more like it.” She hooks her arm through mine, pulling me to the escalator. “You’ll have a whole new room before we leave today.”
If only fixing the heartache inside was as easy as plastering new posters on it.
* * *
“How was your day out?” Aunt Lucia calls from the kitchen. A spicy aroma fills Tonya’s apartment and my mouth begins watering. It appears she’s taken over Tonya’s kitchen. It’s a good thing, though. My cousin can’t cook for the life of her. The only thing she’s made since I’ve been here that’s edible is macaroni and cheese.
“Good,” I reply. “How did you even know we were back?” I set my bags beside the door while Tonya wanders off to find Reaf. Grabbing my new blanket from one of the bags, I walk to couch before collapsing onto it. Who knew shopping could be so tiring? Part of me wonders if it’s because of who I was with. I’ve never been a huge shopper. Going in for what I want and getting out as quickly as possible. But Tonya… She has to look at every single thing. We could have been home over an hour ago.
“The door isn’t exactly silent when you open it.” She walks out of the tiny kitchen. “Tonya really should talk to the office about that so they can get maintenance up here. Anyway, I also heard the bags rustling.” A dish towel is tucked into her jeans pocket when she sits down beside me. “I knew as soon as I heard them that Tonya had a successful shopping day. Did you get anything?”
“Yeah,” I say through a yawn. “I picked up a few things for my room. Tonya kind of forced me to do it so I could make the space my own.” Even though it’s not permanent. It’s something I have to keep reminding myself of. No matter what happens, I won’t be here forever. I still have my own family back at home. Myfriendsand ex-boyfriend are the only reason I need space from my home town. At least I thought they were my friends.
“Good,” Lucia pats my knee. She must see through my thoughts because she adds, “You know you can stay as long as you want, right? There’s no time limit. You are always welcome.”
“I know,” I mutter, burrowing myself deeper into my blanket cocoon. Out of all of my family, Lucia has always been my favorite. She’s the most kind-hearted person I know, and willing to do anything for anybody. My mom tried to help me the best way she could when all the drama started, and we both agreed that getting away from the rumors and lies for a bit was best all the way around. It would give me time to get over the fact that my friends were all backstabbing assholes.
What did I expect, though? I went from being a loner to having one of the hottest guys in town interested in me. I should have known things were going to go badly when I was accepted into his group so easily. They weren’t nice people when we were in school. It was too much to hope that maybe, just maybe, they had changed in between the short year since we graduated. But nope, some people never do. They continue to relish their asshole ways and torment whoever they see fit.
“Hey, Amelia,” Reaf’s voice booms as he comes into the room. Not expecting him, I jump. How in the hell does he walk so silently? I’m used to Tonya stomping around everywhere. You can hear her coming from a mile away.
“Hey.” My voice is muffled from beneath my blanket. Sleep would come so easily nestled in here. I’m not sure what time Lucia plans on leaving, and a nap sounds amazing. Falling into a dreamless state would free my mind from the drama I’m attempting to run away from, and the thoughts of Randall that keep popping up. It’s not a good idea. He’s broken. I’m broken. What would a friendship between us accomplish? Shared loneliness is the only thing I can think of.
“I’m going to go finish cooking.” Lucia’s absence makes me feel like a small child wanting someone to make everything better. “We all know these three need something good to eat besides whatever Tonya’s been feeding them.”
Reaf fills her space. Not sitting too closely, but close enough that I can feel the small dip in the couch. “Hey, I’m the one that does most of the cooking,” he protests.
As soon as the sounds of pots and pans moving around fills the silence, he shifts his body. Most likely until his back is against the arm rest. “What’s wrong?” He pokes the blanket pile I’m under until he finally hits my shoulder. “And don’t tell me nothing. It doesn’t work with your cousin, and it’s not going to work with you.”
“Will not answering work?” Gah, his do-gooder self is so annoying sometimes. Always trying to make everything better. I’m surprised he and Marshall haven’t formed some sort of “Make Everyone Happy” alliance. They would go around in capes, solving all the issues, one person at a time.
“Not even a little bit.” He voice softens. “Really, what’s wrong?”
“Where’s Tonya?” If anyone can get me out of having to talk about my feelings, it’s her. Or maybe Cami, but she’s off at school and living her life with Travis. Ugh, all these couples make me cringe. I used to be ridiculously in love with the perfect boyfriend. Or, at least I thought I was, until he ruined that in one swoop.