Tonya only nods, regret in her eyes but not backing down from her need to protect her cousin from big bad me. “If you need anything else, you know where to look now.”
Turning, I almost run to get away from them. There’s no goodbye wave, or “nice to see you again.” Just me… putting as much distance between myself, Tonya, and the girl I want to befriend. That did not go at all the way I had envisioned.
Leaving and taking my frustration out with a brisk run would help. Except I only have a thirty minute break, and rent is due next week. I need the hours. The break room is empty, and I run my hands over my face as I sit down. As I try to figure out what my next step will be, my lunch sits in my locker, completely forgotten.
* * *
Sadly, my day didn’t get much better. Customers came in complaining about us not having the same exact thing other stores have. It took everything in my power not to scream. If they wanted the stupid flooring the other store had, they should have gone there to begin with. Dealing with pain in the ass people is the last thing I want to do after my confrontation with Tonya earlier.
“Randall,” Tony, my boss calls out to me. “You can go ahead and head home.”
“My shift isn’t up, yet,” I argue. Damn it. He can’t send me home yet, I need a full week. Especially, if I still want a place to live. My piece of shit dad isn’t going to get off his ass to help.
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll still pay you for the rest of your time.” He looks at me knowingly. Stupid ass small towns where everyone knows my business. If I had been able to stay in school, I’d have left this shithole behind. “And,” he continues, “that scowl on your face is scaring away the customers. Go get your head on straight and be ready first thing in the morning.” With a gentle pat on the back, he walks away.
There are two options… I can go home and listen to my dad bitch about how worthless I am, or I can go to Marshall’s. The choice is simple, really. Dad’s harsh words can wait, I need to figure out what I’m going to do about Amelia, now that I know she’s in town for a while.
* * *
Disturbed blares through the speakers. The perfect soundtrack to this crappy day. There’s nothing like heavy rock to ease my mind.
I start in the direction of Marshall’s parents when I remember that he got his own place. It’s a habit to go to his parents’ house. They feed me. It’s not the only reason I liked going over there. It just happened to be the place where we all congregated when we wanted to hang out. Marshall's parents were the most welcoming, and weren't put off by having a bunch of teenage boys always at their house.
There's no way in hell I would want my friends to hang out with me at my house. Not because I'm ashamed of where I live, but because my dad is a raging asshole on the best of days. Nobody wanted to go to Jake's house either. They would have flipped their shit if we got one speck of dirt anywhere in their immaculate house. The few times we were over there, it was so awkward that we left as soon as we could.
When Jake told off his parents last summer, essentially cutting himself off from their funds, I couldn't have been prouder of him. Even if the main reason he did it was because of a girl. I mean, he also did it for his daughter because his parents were trying to do some shady shit. I think wanting to prove himself to Charleigh helped him come to the decision faster. If only I could do the same thing with my dad.
Once upon a time, I had a set of parents that were great and I felt loved. But Mom leaving and telling us she didn't want a family anymore destroyed the both of us. Dad stopped caring and started drinking. And that turned into yelling and getting physical when I did something he didn't approve of. That’s a lot to deal with on top of changing hormones when you’re a pre-teen.
And now, even though I'm twenty, I continue to let him treat me like shit. Instead of turning around to go to Marshall's, I make a U-turn and head home. As much as I want to get to know Amelia, I can't. She needs a friend who isn't broken, and who's not afraid to be left behind.
As much as I'm dreading whatever my father has to throw at me for being home early, it's better than the possible rejection I face after Tonya tells Amelia how much of an asshole I can be. Being thrown away for something shiny isn’t a feeling I want to endure ever again.
Three
Amelia
“What wereyou talking to Randall about?” We’re sitting at a table in the food court of the mall. It seemed weird that she sent me off to get brackets on my own. A part of me wanted to walk to the next aisle and listen in on their conversation, but I decided that whatever it was probably wasn’t any of my business.
“Nothing,” Tonya replies, too quickly. She shoves a piece of pretzel into her mouth when she sees me eyeing her over my soda, knowing I’m not going to give this up.
“It didn’t seem like nothing when I came around the corner.” Placing the straw to my lips, I take two big sips. “I thought you all got along after you worked the co-parenting thing out with Jake.”
After she swallows the huge piece of food in her mouth, she groans. “We do. I was just… warning him away from you.”
“What gave you any indication that he was interested in me? I haven’t talked to him in years. Literally.” Am I so broken she thinks I’ll latch onto the first guy that I see? I’m in no place for a relationship. After my ex made a spectacle of me in front of half the town, I don’t need to be in a relationship. I’m still licking my wounds.
Hell, they ran me out of town from embarrassment. There’s no way in hell I’m going to let anyone get that close to me again. I don’t care how good looking they are. Or, if I can see the pain they carry with them. And let’s face it, Randall has it hidden within the depths of him. I saw it in the frustration he showed at the spilled screws.
“You didn’t see the way he was looking at you,” my cousin argues. “It was like he was stranded in the desert and you were the water that would keep him alive.”
“Whatever,” I mumble. Happy that she didn’t see my face when our eyes met for that split second. Even if I’ve sworn off guys, I can’t help this need to get to know him better. Not because I think I canfixhim, but because maybe we can help each other out of the darkness we are both stuck in. If he feels as alone as I do, he could use a friend.
I know I can hang out with Tonya, and her friends, whenever I want. They’d be happy to have me around. They are all coupled up, though and have a history together that I simply don’t. The few times I’ve been around the entire group, I’ve felt like the spare wheel. Just along for the ride. Sometimes I’m the loneliest when I’m surrounded by people.
So wrapped up in my thoughts, I don’t notice Tonya’s hand on my arm. The sounds of other shoppers talking, and their bags rustling, comes into focus when Tonya speaks. “I’m sorry, Amelia. I didn’t mean anything by it. I just didn’t think you would want to deal with guys, or their drama. And Randall… He comes with a lot of drama.”
“That’s for me to figure out,” I sigh. “I’m not saying I want to date him, or anything. What could be so wrong with being his friend. He looks like he could use one.”