“It’s easier to avoid people than you think,” she throws her arm over my shoulders. “Trust me, I speak from experience.”
“I’ll take your word for it,” I laugh. “Let’s get out there before your mom starts searching for us.” Bumping my hip against hers, we start walking out of the room. “And when Randall shows up, I fully intend on pulling him aside to have a talk with him.”
* * *
The sky is darkening, and the party is in full swing. Reaf and Jake are taking turns helping Layla play with the sparklers. It’s kind of cute how they both work together to make Layla’s life as normal as possible. I never would have thought it would be possible for exes to be friends, but Jake and Tonya are the epitome of a well-functioning co-parenting duo. It may have taken Jake a bit longer to jump on board, it’s working well now that they are all on the same page.
The fireworks over the lake are about to start, and Randall still isn’t here yet. He told me he was on his way an hour ago. The evasion and lack of talking are really starting to piss me off. I’m not a needy person, at least I don’t think I am. It’s not like I want us together at the hip all the time. We had an awesome groove going, and since last weekend, it’s all gone awry.
Fireworks light up the sky, and Layla starts clapping in excitement. Seeing the joy on her face over something so simple as fireworks, makes me so happy. That girl may be spoiled rotten, but she knows how to enjoy the little things. Jake and Charleigh are sitting in lawn chairs beside the hammock Reaf and Tonya are occupying. Uncle Jason and Aunt Lucia are watching from their comfortable chairs on the porch. Cami, Travis, Darcy, and Derrick are sitting around the fire pit roasting marshmallows talking about how awesome the basketball season is going to be at Hilltown University. Marshall and Bianca are around here somewhere, but Bianca isn’t really a people person. There are a few work colleagues my aunt and uncle invited, and I have no clue who they are or what they do.
All I know is that I’m alone at this party. Everyone is coupled up, and I’m left being the odd man out because my boyfriend has yet to make an appearance. Oh well, I guess he had more important things to do. Or, his dad started acting like a complete ass again.
The fireworks are getting bigger and coming faster, signaling the display coming to a close. I feel a pair of arms wrap around me. “I made it.”
Normally, the sound of his voice would bring me joy. Right now… it grates on my nerves. “You were supposed to be here hours ago. Where have you been?” I turn around and see regret in his eyes.
“Sorry,” he winces. “I got tied up with my dad.”
Instead of arguing with him in front of everyone, I pull him to the side of the house. “You could have let me know. I’ve been wondering where you were, and worried.”
“I didn’t think to let you know what was going on,” he reaches for my hand but I pull it away. Hurt flashes behind his eyes. “It was another rough night, and I’m here now.”
“That’s not good enough, Randall,” I shout. Lowering my voice, I continue, “You’ve hardly talked to me all week. I understand you get busy, and I know you have other things you need to take care of. Damn it, we’re supposed to be a couple, and I have no clue what’s been going on with you. Things haven’t been the same since last weekend.”
“Why can’t you see that I’m trying?” He whispers loudly.
“That’s the thing, though.” I take a step back and away from him. “You’re not trying. You say you want better for your life, but you don’t take any actions toward what you want. Do you think it was easy for me to move here, a place I don’t know all that well, and try to rebuild my confidence? It wasn’t. And yet, here I am. Doing what I need to do to make things better for myself.”
“That’s not fair,” he argues.
“Maybe not,” I say. “At the same time, how is you pushing me away when things get hard fair to me?” Silence is the only thing I’m met with, and it breaks my heart. Our friends and family celebrating behind us, and people shooting off fireworks are soundtrack to our conversation. “I’ve always been considerate of what you’re going through. Never pushed or tried to make you choose me over your dad because that’s not something I would ever do. But the lack of communication is something I can’t deal with, especially if we’re going all in with each other. I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you, Randall, and I want better for you. Forus.”
Randall stands staring at me. The light hanging off the roof flickers, and I can’t tell what he’s feeling. Not that I’d be able to if he doesn’t want me know. He’s great at schooling his features to hide his pain. “So, is that it then?” His tone is cool with a touch of anger.
He didn’t even react when I said the “L” word. I must be the only one that feels it, and it’s such a slap in the face. I opened up to him, told him my fears, as well as my hopes and dreams. “I guess so.” I don’t wait for him to say anything else. Walking to the back door, I slip inside without anyone else noticing. Once I’m in my bedroom, I close and lock the door before lying on the bed. My face is buried in my pillows to quiet the sounds of my sobs and heart shattering into a million pieces once again.
Tonight could have turned out differently if he had just saidsomething. Instead, he stood there like what I said didn’t matter. As if, I didn’t matter.
Eighteen
Randall
She broke up with me.I can’t fucking believe it. Because I had other shit going on, she called things off. It’s not my fault my dad’s an incapable asshole. Or, that I have to take care of him so he doesn’t do anything to hurt himself.
Three days should be enough time to get over being dumped, except when it’s not. It’s all I can think about. Even Tony has commented on my less than stellar work performance because all that keeps going through my head is her saying “I guess,” and walking off without a backward glance. Maybe I didn’t mean as much to her and she did to me. Maybe I’ve royally screwed things up.
A text message comes in, and I debate ignoring it like I have all the others. We aren’t supposed to have our phones with us when we’re on the floor working but I keep it on me on the off chance Amelia calls me. Pulling it out of my pocket, I check the screen, and my shoulders sag. It’s only Marshall. Instead of reading it, I shove the phone back into my pocket and continue restocking the mulch.
“Hey, Randall,” Tony calls from down the aisle. “Can you come here for a minute?”
Damn it. What did I do this time? Now is not a good time for me to be getting in trouble at work. I can’t afford to lose this job. Back when I first started my job hunt at sixteen, Tony was the only person willing to offer me a job despite my dad’s history. Most people assumed the apple didn’t fall too far from the tree. But, I’m nothing like my dad. I’ve done everything in my power to be the complete opposite. Just because he can’t seem to do hold down a job, doesn’t mean I’m the same way.
“Yeah, sure thing,” I throw my gloves on the pallet that still needs to be unloaded. “What’s up?”
“Look,” he hooks his thumbs through his belt loops. “I’m not usually one to meddle in the lives of my employees.” When I raise an eyebrow in rebuttal, he adds, “much.” This is starting to sound like a lecture. “Is everything okay? Last week you seemed off, but this week… It’s like your whole personality has changed. You just seem really angry. Did your dad say, ordo, anything to you?”
Has my attitude really shown that much at work? Keeping my personal life separate from my work life is something I’ve always been really good at. That is, until Amelia caught my eye.