“Would you like me to call you back later?” a deep voice comes through the speaker. It’s Jake.
“Oh, sorry. I thought it was my mom bugging me about college again,” I say sheepishly. He must have felt me thinking about him. He’ll usually send a text asking if I can talk. Him just calling is out of the ordinary.
“It’s okay,” he replies. “But, really, I can call you back when you have time.”
He sounds different., almost sad. I can’t tell him to call back when he’s down. “It’s okay. Is everything okay?”
“Oh, yeah,” he says. He’s lying, but I’m not going to call him out for it. “Just some shit with my parents I’m dealing with.”
My phone is filled with silence. I can hear him breathe, but that’s about it. We’ve never had a problem with awkward silences. It’s weird, and I’m not sure how to react to that.
“Actually,” he begins, “I was calling to see if you wanted to come hang-out with me and my friends tonight.”
“I can’t tonight. I’m working.” I pause, feeling bad that I can’t go out with him tonight. I’ve only met his friends once, aside from Marshall, whom I see almost more than I see Jake. “But, I’m off tomorrow night if that works.”
“Yeah, that’s fine. We’ll do the bonfire tomorrow night.” He takes a deep breathe, blowing it out right into the receiver. “I just…I just needed to see you. But I can wait.” Defeat tinges his voice.
“You know you can talk to me about whatever is bothering you, right?”
“Yeah,” he’s silent once again. “I’m gonna let you go so I can help the guys gather the stuff for tomorrow night. Text me when you get home?”
“Yeah, I’ll text you.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow.”
We hang up, and I stare at my phone. That has to be the weirdest conversation we’ve ever had. Is he freaking out about what’s going to happen at the end of the summer?
We seriously need to talk. I walk back into Life in Ink and set my food on the counter. I’m not sure what is going to happen tomorrow night, but I hope I get along with his friends, and he cheers up before then.
Fifteen
Jake
I can’t believethey’re getting married. It’s the only thought running through my head as I throw broken tree limbs into the back of my truck. The limbs hitting the side of the truck, most likely scratching it up, isn’t enough to distract me.
It’s not even about them getting married, notentirely. I can’t wrap my head around them getting engaged after being together barely over six months. Tonya and I were together off and on throughout most of high school and marriage never even crossed my mind. It’s probably a good indicator that things between us probably never would have worked out. She wasn’t my forever person.
Charleigh pops into my head. I wanted to see her so badly tonight. Just to focus on something good in my life. Focus on someone who makes me feel better and want to be a better person. But how can I when there’s a twinge of jealousy burning in my gut?
I know he’s been there for Layla since she was born. But it didn’t bother me as much because he still went home to his own house. He wasn’t always with her. Once they’re married…they’ll be living together as a family unit. I’ll be relegated to the part-time dad. My opinions and concerns regarding Layla won’t hold as much sway.
And why should I get a say? I haven’t put in anywhere near as much time into parenting her as they have. I haven’t had to deal with sleepless nights or worry if her fever was too high. If I’m being honest, I would probably freak the hell out.
The day she was born, I knew I wanted to be more to her than my parents were to me. I don’t even know if they planned on having me. I’ve always felt like more of a nuisance than their child. I never want Layla to feel that way when it comes to me. I want, noneed, to be around as much as Tonya will allow me to be.
How am I going to do that from a university on the other side of the state? I don’t have any other choice than to transfer to a school closer. And I’ll do it because she is worth it. She’s worth the world, and more.
“Yo, Jake,” Randall cuts into my thoughts. “You’re doing that weird staring thing again. Are you thinking about Charleigh?” He sing songs.
I shake my head, like it’s going to rid me of all my problems. “Not right this second, no.”
“You must be thinking abouther,” he argues.
“Jesus, Randall.” I throw the limb in my hand to the ground. “I wish you’d stop talking about Tonya like she’s Voldemort, or some evil overlord. She has a fucking name and happens to be the mother of my child. If you can’t accept that, you can get your ass out of here.”
“Yeah, and she chose another fucking guy to raiseyourkid with. You aren’t the one playing house with her, he is. I’m just sayin’, it’s messed up.”
I rush toward him, fist raised, when Marshall steps between us and pushes me back.