“No one’s ever, in all my life, done anything even close to that for me. I can’t—” She paused, holding Miriam’s hands and gazing down into her face, trying to remember what breathing even was.
A microphone crackled.
“And now,” Cole said in an old-timey radio announcer voice, “it’s almost time to start the countdown to midnight. Grab your favorite partner. I’ve given the DJ instructions to play the most romantic slow dance song in the history of the world, ‘I’d Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That)’ by multiplatinum American treasure Marvin Lee ‘Meat Loaf’ Aday. Unfortunately, Hannah has paid him double to play you something else. But as long as you’re in the arms of the one you love, your year will still end nearly as well as it possibly could.”
The first notes of “Time After Time” played over the speakers.
“Dance with me?”
“Aren’t you supposed to be spending this dance in the arms of the person you love?” Miriam replied even as she moved her hand to Noelle’s waist and nestled her head under Noelle’s chin.
Noelle started to answer, but Miriam kept talking.
“I know you’re going to say my emotions are all over the map right now, and you don’t trust me. I know I messed things up, and you’re scared of making your heart vulnerable again. I know the feeling, because right now I’m more afraid than I’ve ever been, and I’m still walking through it. Maybe you’ll choose to say we can’t ever be together. It won’t change anything for me, I’m still here. I’m so tired of running. This might be a once-in-a-lifetime kind of love. The kind Cass always told me to find—”
“Baby, stop for a minute,” Noelle interrupted, “and let me tell you I love you.”
This woman, this miraculous woman, whose mind and heart were so fascinating, who sparkled so brightly, who understood Noelle’s worst impulses and her highest hopes, was in her arms declaring her love.
Noelle had been loved, and seen, in her life, but she’d never dared to dream about being loved like this. If she had ever lain in bed at night and asked the universe for a girl (not that she had, of course, at least not for a long time), never in her wildest imaginings would she have asked for a girl who painted La Llorona in silver Docs. She wouldn’t have believed she could deserve this. But here this woman was, in a slinky dress smelling like heaven, and Noelle was going to love her so fiercely that Miriam never regretted choosing her.
“All I’ve been trying to do, all night, is find you and get on my knees to beg you to forgive me,” Noelle said. “And then instead of being angry with me, you gave me the most beautiful gift, beyond anything I could imagine.”
“You were going to apologize?” Miriam whispered.
Noelle nodded. “First, for even thinking in any universe that you would stay here if you suspected this would happen. It was an awful thing to say, and I will be lucky if you ever forgive me for it.”
“Forgiven,” Miriam whispered. “I would have wondered the same thing, and we both said things we shouldn’t out of fear.” Noelle’s heart turned over.
“I’ve never felt for anybody what I feel for you,” she continued, “and when you said you were leaving, I felt more fear than I ever wanted to feel again. I know where it came from. I know we don’t always get to turn our trauma off. Once I calmed down, I knew that what you did in a panic wasn’t your choice, and I’m so sorry I freaked out. I lost everything I loved, twice. I thought I didn’t want to love anymore, but I was so wrong. I want you. I want to be your anchor, and I want to go on wild antiquing adventures with you. I want to fix your hot glue gun when it breaks, and make sure you eat while you’re in your workshop. I want to go to therapy with you so we can both untangle our messes. Do you want that? Will you still have me?” Her breath caught in her throat, her heart trying to beat its way out of her tux.
“Noelle, even when you were telling me it was over, you were still fighting for me. You still believed that my art could save Carrigan’s All Year, and that it was worth saving.” Miriam’s face beamed up at her, sparkling under the disco balls. “You threw me a lifeline and yelled at me until I grabbed on. How could I ever say no?”
The party started counting down. “Ten, nine, eight, seven—”
“I’m a superstitious girl,” Noelle whispered. “Don’t kiss me at midnight if you’re not planning on spending the rest of your year by my side.”
“Four, three, two, one! Happy New Year!”
Miriam yanked on Noelle’s lapels and brought their lips together. She wrapped both arms around Noelle’s neck and kissed her hard. Noelle picked her up, swinging her around and smiling against her lips before pulling back to rest her forehead against Miriam’s.
“Wait,” she said, as the chorus started up again, “is this our song, now? Is Cyndi Lauper our song?”
Miriam laughed. “Iwaslost, and you did find me.”
“I did nothing of the sort!” Noelle protested. “You walked into my kitchen and demanded that I caffeinate you!”
Miriam shook her head and kissed Noelle again.
By two a.m., their voices were hoarse from thanking everyone profusely, and, in the case of the townies, ushering them home. Miriam had her head against Cole’s shoulder as they sat together on the stairs.
Noelle walked up and offered Miriam her hand. “I promised your mother I would make sure you got into bed.” Miriam grinned lasciviously at her. “And to sleep,” Noelle clarified, as much for herself as for Miriam.
“But makeup sex,” Miriam whined, fluttering her eyelashes.
“I’m not having sex with you when you’re drunk,” Noelle pointed out, as Miriam draped her body over Noelle’s.
“I’m not drunk. I’m just so unbelievably tired.” She waved a heel, which she was holding in her hand, over the sea of sleeping bags on the floor of the great room, where everyone who’d flown up and wouldn’t fit in the guest rooms had set up anywhere they could find. “This was a lot.”