“Constant desire on my part to do filthy things to your thighs? Yes. I know,” Miriam said. “I’ll try to keep my hands to myself.” She planted them on the table as if to demonstrate.
Noelle stared at her. Where had this Miriam come from?
“Sorry! That was too far. I seem to have lost my filter tonight. Blame it on emotional exhaustion.” Miriam giggled. “But if I’m staying, we should have all our cards on the table, know where we stand. I’m not ready to get into anything romantic again right now. I need to get my head on straight.”
“And I am going to have to do a lot of work on trust before I get involved with anyone,” Noelle agreed, relieved that she didn’t have to let Miriam down gently.
“Good. We’re on the same page. What about your shop?” Noelle asked. “Hannah made it sound like it was everything you’d ever wanted.”
Miriam’s eyes filled up. “It was. It was all of my dreams,” she admitted, running her free hand through her curls to shake them out. Noelle had to stop herself from audibly gasping. Miriam’s curls made her think about pillows and beds and what her hair would look like spread out on them. Now was not the time.
They were having a serious emotional moment. About feelings. Not pantsfeelings, but actual heart feelings.
Miriam continued, “I’m going to build new dreams of my shop here, to help me let go of that very beautiful dream of a perfect little shop in the city.”
“I’m sorry,” Noelle said.
“I’m not.” Miriam shook her head, her voice steady.
“Hannah needs you, to talk to about Levi,” Noelle said. “I’ll never understand why she loves him, so there are ways I can’t help.”
“That doesn’t sound like asking me to stay,” Miriam pointed out. “Wait, what’s happening with this duck?”
Noelle looked down at the piece of wood she had been whittling to keep her anxiety at bay. “I’m making Christmas gifts for the Green twins. It’s Carrigan’s pine.”
“That’s cute. Sorry. I distracted you.” Miriam looked up from beneath her lashes and grinned. “You were about to ask me to stay.”
Noelle swallowed hard. “Miriam Blum, will you stay at Carrigan’s and help us save Christmasland?” she asked, holding out her hand.
Miriam’s face transformed with joy. God, Noelle had known this woman was trouble the first time she saw her, she just never imagined how much.
“Hell yes, I will.” Miriam grinned, shaking Noelle’s hand. “Let’s call the Rosensteins with our plan.”
“Let’s haveHannahcall the Rosensteins with our plan,” Noelle amended. “You know how she gets when she’s not included.”
“Can we go home now?” Miriam sounded punch-drunk. She was starting to list over in her seat. “I need to talk to Hannah. And the Matthewses. Then I need to sleep a lot.”
Noelle’s eyes unexpectedly filled with tears. Miriam being at Carrigan’s might disrupt her whole life, but it would also settle something big inside the hearts of the people she loved best. She knew the hole Miriam had left in their lives, and she hoped this really was for good.
Because it was going to be so much worse if she left again now.
With a plan in place, Hannah and Miriam spent the next week hunkered down in the office: outlining all the businesses in Advent they could partner with, building a multipronged PR strategy, researching permits they would need to file and the best places to rent tents and generators and table linens in the area. Hannah was in heaven.
Noelle felt a little left out, watching them together, but not as territorial as she had a few weeks ago. She was used to being a two-person team with Hannah, and she’d expected to feel threatened by the closeness Hannah and Miriam were rediscovering. Instead she felt mostly grateful. She had always worried that, if she ever got seriously involved with a woman again, she’d have a hard time balancing her closeness with Hannah with a romance. Miriam understood, perfectly, what it meant to have a best friend who was half of you, and she and Hannah had their own connection.
Notthat she and Miriam were having a romance. They’d been very clear with each other about that. Saving the farm came first. Making out came later—or maybe never.
Noelle sometimes stuck her head in, bringing them sandwiches so they would remember to eat. At the end of the week, she told them she was heading to Plattsburgh with Elijah to take the twins to the children’s museum. They glanced up, Hannah’s burnished gold head nestled next to Miriam’s giant halo of near-black curls, and Noelle’s heart turned over. Miriam was flushed with pleasure as Hannah listened to her describe an idea, and Noelle wondered how often people took her seriously. In a flash, Noelle saw what Cass must have seen in Miriam, a brilliant mind full of too much art, constantly trying to make herself smaller so as not to attract her dad’s attention, while also bursting to prove herself, to anyone.
“How are things going with the pretty interloper?” Elijah teased when she showed up at his house for their field trip.
“If you give me shit, I will not give you these cookies that Mrs. Matthews sent,” Noelle warned.
Elijah grabbed the bag. “Noelle has a crush! She wants to kiss the girl!” he sang to Jason, as he walked off to make sure the twins had peed and put on all their mittens and hats. Noelle scowled. Why did she have friends? He was right though.
She really wanted to kiss the girl.
When thoughts of making out kept her up until three a.m., Noelle wandered down to the kitchen to steal treats from Mrs. Matthews’s stash. Instead of cookies, she found an elf with an apron on, standing in the middle of Mrs. Matthews’s spotless blue delft kitchen (in need of new appliances, only where would they find the money?), rolling out dough with an old wooden rolling pin. Noelle propped herself against the doorway, arms crossed, watching Miriam hum to herself. Her little wild soul wrapped up in this domestic scene did something to Noelle’s insides.