‘Isn’t Jack helping you?’ Ruby asked.
‘Yes, he’s been great, but he had to fly to Edinburgh to one of his hotels today. I’m not sure what time he’ll be back. He didn’t say.’ Which kind of summed up their relationship. A come-and-go, fly-in, fly-out arrangement. Jack might insist on marrying her for Marli’s sake, but it wasn’t a true partnership.
Aerin was still cuddling Marli, moving from side to side in a rocking motion to soothe her back to sleep. ‘Why don’t you have a shower now and we’ll head out for a walk in the sunshine? It’s a gorgeous day and the fresh air will be good for Marli. We can grab some lunch and we can mind Marli while you get your hair or nails done. You’ll feel like a new woman in no time.’
Within an hour, Harper was sitting at an outdoor café with her three friends, enjoying a late lunch. It was almost like being back to normal, except the responsibility of her baby made her conscious of the change in the dynamic with her friends. How could she fulfil her commitments as a wedding photographer when she was nursing a baby? She didn’t want to compromise her bonding with Marli but neither did she want to inconvenience her friends. They had solid bookings for weddings and finding a fill-in photographer was not as easy as it sounded, especially finding one with the high creative standards that matched their business model.
It was amazing how many people coming in and out of the café—mostly women but even occasionally a man who was a new father himself—stopped to comment on Marli. The gushing comments on how cute she was, how adorable her outfit, how tiny she was, couldn’t help but make Harper feel proud. Her body had produced this perfect little being, a gorgeous little baby who had come into the world in the most surprising and unexpected way, and yet Harper’s love for her was automatic and complete. If only Jack’s love forherwas as automatic and complete as it was for their child.
But just as Harper was packing up to leave with her friends, another person came rushing over and Harper looked up to see none other than Clara Tenterbury, the bride from the society wedding where Harper had spent the night with Jack. Her stomach dropped, her mouth fell open, her mind went totally blank.
‘Oh, my God!’ Clara squealed. ‘What a little poppet. How old is she? She is a she, right?’
Harper was not used to being struck dumb, but trying to explain her circumstances to Clara Tenterbury was beyond her capabilities right then. Maybe there was such a thing as baby brain, for her brain did feel a little scrambled. What twist of fate had led Clara to be at the same café as Harper and her friends? ‘Erm...’ Harper began but couldn’t get her voice to complete the sentence, couldn’t get her mind to even form a sentence to say.
‘This is Marli Elizabeth Susannah Swan-Livingstone,’ Aerin said, with a proud aunty-like smile. ‘Isn’t she absolutely gorgeous?’
Clara’s eyes bulged like oversized marbles. ‘Did you say...Livingstone? As in Jack Livingstone?’
Aerin bit her lip and glanced at Harper with a worried oops-I-think-I made-a-boo-boo look on her face. Harper was thinking of how many followers Clara had on social media. Thousands, possibly millions by now. It had been a positive thing for her and her business partners when Clara had gushed about how wonderfully they had done her wedding to Hugh Tenterbury. But now? It was a potential nightmare.
Harper fixed a stiff smile on her face. ‘How are you, Clara? Enjoying married life?’ What else could she do but deflect? There was no way she was going into the details of Marli’s conception. No freaking way.
Clara’s eyes danced. ‘Wonderful.’ She placed a hand on her own abdomen. ‘I have my own exciting news to share. Hugh and I are expecting a baby. A boy. Hugh is so ridiculously proud. I bet Jack is too.’
After the appropriate congratulations were given, Ruby came to the rescue and diverted the conversation away from Harper by chatting about where Clara and Hugh had gone for their honeymoon, telling her of her own plans for her wedding to Lucas Rothwell. And within a few minutes Clara was gone, giving them all a fingertip wave on the way out.
Harper blew out a ragged breath and passed Marli to Ruby to hold, so she could pack up her things. ‘Thanks, Ruby, for rescuing me. I thought she would never leave.’
‘That’s okay,’ Ruby said. ‘I could see you were a bit stuck for words.’
‘I’m so sorry,’ Aerin said, still looking worried about her gaffe.
‘Don’t worry about it,’ Harper reassured her. ‘I couldn’t think how to explain about my cryptic pregnancy without looking like a complete idiot.’ It was hard not to feel a little envious of Clara, who was clearly enjoying every moment of her pregnancy. How had she not known her own body was undergoing the same changes? It still didn’t make sense...or did it? Had her mind switched into a pattern of denial so strong it had prevented her from seeing what was right in front of her?
Ruby looked down at the baby in her arms with a wistful expression on her face. ‘Marli’s like a little angel. I still can’t believe none of us suspected you were pregnant.’ She glanced up at Harper. ‘Did you even for a moment think you might be?’
Harper was about to say ‘no’ but then realised it wasn’t strictly true. There had been odd moments when the thought had crossed her mind but not for long enough to take a firm hold. ‘I’ve been thinking about that... I was late the first month but only by a few days. Then I had sore breasts for a week or two, but then I sometimes do before a period. And I had a lighter than normal period a few times.’ She frowned and continued, ‘I think I might have been in denial, so couldn’t allow the thought any traction in my head. I feel such a fool now, though. How could I not have realised on some level?’
‘Denial is a powerful tool when we don’t want to face stuff we need to face,’ Ruby said. ‘But it all turned out in the end. Marli is perfect and you and Jack are going to be wonderful parents. You’re lucky he wants to be involved. Just like for you, it must have been an incredible shock for him.’
‘But what if the novelty wears off?’ Harper asked. ‘Marli is cute now but babies grow bigger and get noisy and messy and hard to control. He might not feel so committed to her once she’s a defiant toddler or a moody teenager.’
‘But even some mothers can feel ambivalent towards their kids,’ Ruby said with a rueful twist to her mouth. ‘My mother being a case in point. Jack might prove to be the best father you could ask for your little girl. You have to give him a chance to prove himself.’
‘By marrying him?’ Harper asked. ‘How can I marry a man who doesn’t love me? Who doesn’t even believe in the concept of long-lasting love?’
‘Playboys always say that until they fall in love themselves,’ Ruby said with a dreamy smile. ‘Just ask Lucas.’
‘And my father,’ Aerin said with a grin. ‘You should have heard his soppy speech about Mum at their wedding anniversary weekend. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house, not even his.’
But Harper wasn’t so sure she could hold on to the hope that Jack might fall in love with her one day. What if he didn’t? What if their marriage became a cold and clinical arrangement that left them both unsatisfied and their child had to grow up witnessing it?
CHAPTER SEVEN
JACKRETURNEDTOhis penthouse later that day to find Harper and Marli were not there. He went from room to room, trying to quell the panic rising like a toxic tide in his chest. Surely she wouldn’t have left without informing him? But her absence brought back the memory of that night nine months ago, waking to find her gone, only the indentation of her head on the pillow next to his. The frustration he had felt shocked him then as it shocked him now. He hadn’t been expecting her to do a runner. He was offering her much more now than a simple fling. He was offering marriage and a secure future for her and their child. Why would she leave without at least telling him where she was going? Marli was his child too, so he had a right to know where she was and if she was safe.
The door opened behind him and he swung around to see Harper coming in carrying Marli in a front pouch strapped to her chest. ‘You’re back,’ she said, closing the door behind her with the kick of her left foot.