‘You haven’t tried to buy it back, I mean since?’
Jack’s mouth took on a cynical curve. ‘No, once I say goodbye to something, that’s it. I don’t look back.’
‘Does that apply to people as well?’
His eyes locked on hers, sending a shiver down her spine. ‘I didn’t get the chance to say goodbye to you. You slipped out of my hotel room before I woke up. Why was that, hmm?’
Harper could feel a rush of heat flowing into her cheeks at how she had behaved that night. It had been as if she had turned into someone else—a sensual woman who didn’t think twice about having casual sex with a stranger. It still shocked her that Jack had distracted her from her work, turning her into a wanton woman who could think of nothing but being in his bed having spine-tingling sex. The sort of sex she had never had before. Sex that was exciting beyond measure. Her body had flown into the stratosphere, trembling, quaking, shuddering with waves of delight she had never experienced with a partner before. Before Jack Livingstone, her pleasure had never been a priority. She had lost count of the number of times she had faked an orgasm to get an encounter over with. But Jack’s touch had awakened her in an almost frightening way. She wanted more of him but knew she shouldn’t. He was like a forbidden drug she must resist before she became completely addicted. Her mother had fallen for a man she could never have, who had promised but failed to deliver. Jack was promising Harper everything but love. How could she settle for riches and not the most valuable thing of all—love? She lowered her gaze from his probing one and stared at the starched white tablecloth in front of her. ‘I wasn’t interested in repeating our...hook-up.’
‘Because?’
She swallowed tightly, trying not to think of how hard it had been to leave his room when all she had wanted was to stay wrapped in his arms and experience his mind-blowing passion all over again. It had taken an enormous amount of willpower to leave. And itstilltook an enormous amount of willpower to keep her distance from him. Not so easy now she had his baby. They were bound together for the next eighteen years or so whether she liked it or not. She couldn’t stop him seeing their child, he wanted to be an involved and loving father, and from all she had seen so far that was exactly what he would be. How could she deny her baby that special relationship? The father-daughter relationship she herself had longed for all her childhood? ‘Because I wasn’t interested in you.’
‘Liar.’
Harper forced her gaze back to his, masking her features into cool impassivity. ‘You find it impossible to believe any woman can say no to you, don’t you?’
His dark blue eyes kindled with sensual heat. ‘You didn’t say no. You wanted me as much as I wanted you that night.’
A traitorous drumbeat of lust thrummed in her lower body. Had she no resistance? No immunity to his potent charm? ‘That night was a mistake on my part. An aberration.’
Jack glanced to where their baby girl was sleeping in her capsule. ‘Is that how you want our daughter to see herself? As a mistake?’
Harper frowned. ‘No, of course not. I didn’t mean it like that.’
There was a pulsing silence.
‘If you had found out about the pregnancy earlier, what would you have done?’ Jack asked.
Harper chewed at her lower lip, not quite able to meet his gaze. ‘I’m not sure what you’re asking...’
‘Would you have told me? Or simply had a termination?’
She brought her gaze back to his. ‘I don’t think there are too many women who consider having a termination a simple solution. It’s a big decision to make, and not one I would have liked to make, although I respect other people’s reasons for doing so.’ She paused for a beat and continued, ‘I would have told you, though. I would have given you the choice to be involved or not.’
Jack’s gaze drifted back to their sleeping baby, his expression cast in lines of awe that tugged on Harper’s heart strings. He loved his child; did that mean he might one day fall in love with her? ‘I can’t imagine not being involved now she’s here.’ Marli opened her tiny mouth and yawned, one of her little starburst hands stretching above her head. Jack shifted his gaze back to Harper’s, his expression turning serious. ‘I wouldn’t have pressured you into having a termination. I firmly believe it’s a woman’s choice what happens to her body.’
Harper gave him a pointed look. ‘But here you are, pressuring me into marrying you.’
His mouth went into a tight line. ‘It’s the best possible solution to our situation. It will provide security and stability for Marli and you going forward.’
Security and stability were the two words that were foremost in Harper’s mind at the best of times, even more so now she had a baby to consider. But would marrying a man she barely knew be the best possible solution? A man she had suppressed her feelings for out of a sense of imminent danger. A man who only had to touch her and she erupted into flames of rabid lust. Marrying Jack Livingstone might provide her daughter with a loving and present father but it would provide Harper with a temptation she wasn’t sure she could resist.
And she suspected Jack knew it.
A couple of days later, Ruby and Aerin arranged to call in to meet Marli. As it turned out, Jack had to see to a work issue at one of his hotels in Edinburgh, so was away from early in the morning to catch a flight to Scotland.
‘Oh, look at her, isn’t she gorgeous?’ Aerin said, melting at the sight of Marli dressed in a duckling-yellow outfit Jack had brought back home the day before.
‘You’re making me seriously clucky,’ Ruby said, with a smile. She turned to look at Harper. ‘How are you managing? It must be such a huge change.’
Harper gave a shrug. Should she tell her friends how uncertain she was about everything? Should she admit to the fears that stalked her? Fears about not succeeding with her career. Fears about not being a good enough mother. Fears about never being truly loved by her baby’s father. How could she admit to such insecurities without worrying her friends? New motherhood was supposed to be a happy, if not euphoric, time. Instead, she was struggling with a host of conflicting emotions. She loved her baby, of course she did. But she was worried she might become overwhelmed the way her mother had become, the burden of motherhood too much, especially without a man who loved her by her side. ‘I’m coping.’
Ruby leaned closer and placed a gentle hand on Harper’s arm, her expression etched with concern. ‘Only just coping?’
Harper let out a ragged sigh. ‘I haven’t been out of the hotel since I got here. Yesterday, I didn’t have a shower until three in the afternoon. I used to be so organised and now I’m not sure what I’m doing or even if I’m doing it correctly. I worry Marli isn’t getting enough milk, then I worry she isn’t sleeping or sleeping too much. I didn’t realise there was so much to worry about.’
‘Oh, you poor darling,’ Aerin said, making a sympathetic moue with her mouth. ‘You haven’t had time to prepare for motherhood. Most pregnant women spend the entire nine months planning and preparing and reading up on it. You were suddenly thrust into all this without notice. No wonder you’re feeling a little out of your depth. Anyone would feel the same.’