‘They didn’t know how to love a child unconditionally,’ Lucas said. ‘They were too self-absorbed—in particular my father. My temperament was too serious for them. I think they’d imagined I would be as outgoing and gregarious as they were. They found it impossible to relate to me and I to them.’
It was a shock for Ruby to see things from his perspective. But it touched her that he felt comfortable enough to share such information with her. He had never done so before. Did that mean he was lowering his emotional guard?
‘I understand now that I was only seeing the good bits,’ she said. ‘Not the bad bits about your life back then. Anything would have been better than what I had grown up with, and that made it harder for me to see the problems you faced for so long. And now you have to deal with the loss of your eyesight and the worry that it might not fully come back. I wish there was something I could do to help you get through this difficult time.’
He smiled a lopsided smile. ‘Youarehelping. More than you probably realise.’
Ruby made a business of straightening the collar of his casual shirt. ‘You don’t regret bringing me here?’
He gathered her closer and rested his chin on the top of her head. ‘No. Do you regret coming?’
She leaned back to look up at him. ‘You’re joking, surely? What’s not to love about this place? It’s private, it’s gorgeous, and luxurious beyond anything I’ve experienced before.’
There was a slight pause, and then he asked, ‘Any regrets about us?’
‘How can I regret having the best sex of my life?’
He cupped her left cheek in his broad hand, his expression inscrutable. ‘A week is all I’m offering.’
‘I know.’
Why did he have to keep reminding her? Why torture her with the clock ticking on their ‘arrangement’? She knew the terms. She’d accepted the terms. Wanting more was out of the question. She knew him well enough to know he wouldn’t budge on this, even though a tiny flicker of hope still burned in her chest.
His thumb moved across her cheek in an idle caress. ‘Our relationship will never be the same again after this. It’s not like we can go back to what we were before.’ His hand fell away from her face and he stepped back. ‘I need you to understand that.’
‘Do you have this conversation with all your lovers?’
A ripple of tension passed over his features. ‘I don’t normally have a pre-existing relationship with my lovers.’
‘So you only hook up with strangers? Is that what you’re saying?’
‘It’s less complicated that way. No one gets hurt.’
Ruby resumed the task of clearing away the dinner things. ‘I have nothing against casual sex, but don’t you get a little tired of the...the impersonality of it?’ She placed a wine glass on the tray and glanced at him. ‘I mean, you never really connect with them other than physically. Doesn’t that get a little boring after a while?’
He shrugged in a dismissive manner. ‘Probably no more boring than having sex with the same person for years on end.’
Ruby frowned. ‘But how can you say such a thing is boring when you’ve never been with someone long enough to get to know anything about them beyond their name? And sometimes maybe not even that?’
The line of his mouth was cynical. ‘Go on believing in the fairy tale, Cinderella. Don’t let me burst your bubble. I hope you find what you want. I hope what you want actually exists.’
‘It does exist for some people,’ Ruby insisted. ‘You mentioned the divorce rate before, but what about the percentage of couples whodostay together and have fulfilling and rich lives, being there for each other? I’m not talking about volatile couples, like your parents, but couples who are stable...who love each other through all of life’s ups and downs. The couples whose bond is even deeper when they have children and then grandchildren. The sort of couple who love each other more each year, rather than less. Who find joy in each other...who respect each other and lovingly build their relationship as they age.’
‘That’s the ideal—but who’s to say it’s reality? Don’t most people talk up their lives? Wax lyrical on social media about their so-called soul mate? What goes on behind closed doors is another story.’
Ruby let out a breath of frustration. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever met a more cynical person than you. It’s like you can’t allow yourself to believe in love because you know deep down it has the power to hurt you. But the thing you fear the most is often the one thing you need to embrace, in order to reach your potential.’
Lucas gave a crooked smile that didn’t reach his eyes. ‘You’ll have your work cut out trying to convert me, Ruby. Don’t waste your time and energy on a lost cause.’
He walked out without another word and Ruby’s shoulders slumped on a sigh. Was she being a fool to think he had the potential to change? He had so many good qualities. He was hard-working and stable and generous, and he cared about his staff. But he stubbornly refused to believe in lasting love. His chaotic childhood would not have helped—watching his parents fall in and out of love repeatedly would have made anyone question whether love could be trusted to last. But her childhood had been even more chaotic, and way more love-deprived, and yet she was still ever hopeful of finding a soul mate.
It’s not going to be Lucas Rothwell...a little voice inside her head informed her, in an unwelcome but timely dose of reality.
Their week together on his private island was not even a fling. It was an ‘arrangement’, so they could both achieve their goals. But how could she stop herself from wanting more? His lovemaking had shown her what had been missing in her previous relationships. He had opened up a world of sensuality to her—a dizzying world of physical delight that she knew on a cellular level she would be hard pressed to find with anyone else.
How could she want anyone else when it was Lucas who made her flesh tingle from head to toe?
How could she want any other man’s lips to kiss hers when his set her on fire?