Lucas brought his glass up to his lips and took a sip of wine. He lowered it back to the table, his expression somewhat preoccupied. Was he already regretting the new dynamic of their relationship?
Ruby picked up her own glass. ‘You look like you’re worrying about something.’
He blinked, as if he had completely forgotten she was sitting opposite him. ‘Sorry.’ He gave an on-off smile. ‘That was a lovely meal...thank you for going to so much trouble.’
‘It was my pleasure.’ She took a tiny sip of wine and then returned her glass to the table. ‘Areyou worrying about something?’
He shrugged one broad shoulder. ‘The usual things—work, staff issues, the sale of Rothwell Park.’
‘Delphine Rainbird’s wedding?’
Lucas let out a gust of a sigh. ‘Not particularly. We’ve made a deal and I’ll honour it. But don’t expect me to make an appearance while it’s going on. I’ve been to enough weddings to last me a lifetime.’
He picked up his glass again and drained the contents, setting it back down on the table with a thud that sounded as definitive as a punctuation mark.
‘I love everything about weddings,’ Ruby said, refusing to be put off by his brooding frown. ‘Being present when two people make a permanent commitment to each other is wonderful to witness. So emotional and romantic. Of course I’m usually too busy with the catering to see as much as Harper and Aerin do, but if I haven’t been able to snatch a few moments here and there I love to watch the video later.’
‘Close to half of all marriages end in divorce. Those are risky odds, if you ask me.’
‘I know, but most people start out with the right intentions. Few couples stand at the altar thinking they’re going to get a divorce. Love doesn’t always die. It gets damaged. And then pride makes people give up, instead of nurturing their relationship back to health.’
His mouth curled in a cynical manner. ‘You really are a die-hard romantic.’
‘I want what most people want. I want what my mother never found—nor even my gran, for that matter. I want a love that lasts, a love that heals rather than hurts, a love that builds up rather than knocks down. A love that is respectful and kind and enduring.’
‘Good luck.’
Ruby pushed back her chair and began to clear the table. ‘One day you’re going to meet someone who challenges everything you believe to be true about relationships. It’s like tempting fate to say you don’t believe in love.’
He gave a half-laugh tinged with scorn. ‘Isn’t it tempting fate to say you do? You’ll only get your heart broken.’
‘And is that what scares you the most? That your carefully guarded heart might get dented?’
There was a silence. A long awkward silence. Like a pause in the wrong place in a piece of music.
Lucas slowly rose from the table, his expression now unreadable. ‘I hope you’re not making the mistake of confusing great sexual chemistry for something else.’
Ruby began stacking their used plates with a noisy clatter. ‘I might not have had the level of experience that you’ve had, but I’m not that much of a fool.’
Or was she? It would be all too easy to ‘catch feelings’, as the modern term went. They were having a fling, a temporary ‘arrangement’, but how could she protect herself from falling in love with him? He was her total opposite—an aloof cynic who had built an impenetrable fortress around his heart. She was a foolish, open-hearted, optimistic moth, and he was the bright light she could not help being attracted to, even though it might spell disaster.
‘Ruby...’ Lucas let out a rough-edged sigh. ‘I don’t want you to get hurt. You’ve been hurt too much already.’
‘I can take care of myself.’ Ruby put the plates on a tray and then turned back to him, adding, ‘I’ve been doing it for most of my life.’
He placed his hand on her wrist. ‘I know you have.’
His tone was suddenly gentle, soothing. His hand moved up to cradle one side of her face. His body was so close to hers a wave of fresh need whipped through her like a roaring backdraught of flame. His thumb moved back and forth across her cheek in a tender caress that made something in her chest spring open.
‘You’re brave and strong and resilient,’ he said. ‘So many people would have fallen at the first hurdle, but you’ve fought hard and fought fair to get what you want in life. I admire you for it.’
Ruby inched closer to the warmth of his body and his arms came around her and held her close. She rested her head on his chest, listening to the thud of his heart. His hand stroked the back of her head in slow, rhythmic strokes that sent shivers across her scalp and down her spine.
‘The only thing that kept me going during my childhood was hope. I clung to it so desperately... I needed it like a lifeline. Each day I would wake up and pray that today would be different—that my mother would turn a corner and be the kind of mother I wanted and needed. I didn’t get that wish granted, but my gran did her best to make up for it.’ She glanced up at him. ‘I guess hope is my default setting while cynicism is yours.’
Lucas pressed a kiss to the middle of forehead, his expression wistful. ‘I wasn’t always so cynical. I remember being highly optimistic as a child. But I got worn down by my parents’ rocky relationship, by the broken promises they made to me and to each other. It was easier in the end not to hope at all. To wait instead for the bubble to burst—as it always did.’ He let out a jagged sigh and added, ‘I’m trying to be optimistic about my sight returning, but it’s tough going.’
Ruby could only imagine how difficult his childhood must have been, and how those emotional wounds still impacted him today. ‘Oh, Lucas...’ She gently stroked his lean jaw. ‘I was so envious of you, growing up at Rothwell Park. You seemed to have it all. A castle to live in, expansive grounds, money and status and two parents who loved you.’