Chapter 19: Olive
I roll over in bed with the sun streaming in through my useless curtains. It’s so damn bright. I have a headache and my face feels puffy from crying. I am such a sad sack. Patting my hair, I can tell it’s tangled beyond what a brush can take care of. I need a shower. Desperately. I’m pretty sure I look and smell like I went ten rounds with an angry gorilla and lost.
My phone is lying on the bed next to me, still turned off. I eye it, but I still don’t feel like turning it on. I’d leave it off all day, but I’m never out of touch with my employees, even on my day off. I’ll have to do it eventually, just not yet.
I thump my pillow over my face and scream into it until I feel better. I am going to pick myself up today. I’ll clean myself up and stop feeling sorry for myself. Last night I made a stupid mistake, and I’ve learned my lesson. I can move on and be a grown up about this.
Grown up or not, I peek through the curtains carefully. My apartment overlooks the construction area and I need to know if Brooks is out there. I’m relieved when I don’t see him right away. Maybe he’s working at another site today. God willing, he will just stay off my property for the next few months.
I rinse off in the shower and wash my hair. I slather conditioner all over my tangles and let it sit as I run a nice hot bath. Digging around the cabinet, I find a bath bomb my sister gave me for my birthday. Bath bombs don’t go bad, do they? It still smells good, so I have to figure it’s fine. I toss that in the bath and sit down to soak away my embarrassment from last night.
After getting some sleep, I’m even more confused than I was last night. I’m not crazy and I don’t think I was imagining the way Brooks looked at me. I certainly wasn’t imagining the texts he sent every single day asking me to have coffee and sit with him. I didn’t imagine the lunches together that he orchestrated and insisted on over and over again.
I don’t know why he pulled away. I guess he just got carried away and realized he made a mistake. Again. I rub my chest, trying to ease the ache. I hate the way I feel, unwanted and weak.
But seriously, fuck that. I am not weak. I’ve protected myself this long. I just need to buck up, remember who I am, and why I keep my walls up.
I sit in the bath so long the water starts to get chilly and I’m pruny beyond reason. I get out, dripping all over the bathroom floor as I wrap up in my towel. Maybe I’ll go shopping. I haven’t seen Sally or Chelsea much since the bachelorette party and a new outfit might make me feel better.
I eye my phone. It’s still sitting on the bedside table, powered off. I know I have to suck it up and turn it back on. I can’t be out of touch with the bakery, especially with the ongoing construction. Powering it up, I see a pile of text messages and a voicemail from Brooks. I ignore all of it and open the text from my sister.
Lilah: “Brooks was looking for you this morning. He seems really upset. Maybe you should talk to him.”
Oh Jesus. Has he gotten her on his side now?
Me: “No thanks. I’m going to Sally’s. Dinner with Chelsea tonight at Harvest.”
I throw on jeans and a hoodie, my hair in a messy pile on top of my head. At least I’m clean, if not presentable. I sneak out the side door after peeking out to make sure Brooks isn’t lying in wait. I’m not sure if I’m relieved or disappointed that I manage to escape without him noticing.
It’s a quick walk to Sally’s boutique. She’s working on a window display, wearing a black velvet swing dress with amethyst leggings and pointy black boots. It’s not a look I could pull off, but I love it on her.
As I walk into the store, she looks me up and down and cocks an eyebrow.
“Because I love you, I’m going to tell you the truth. You look like hot garbage.”
I laugh and let her pull me in for a hug.
“I know. It was a rough night. I need retail therapy.” My voice is muffled into her shoulder as she squeezes me tight. She smells like jasmine, familiar and safe. I pull back and gesture at her outfit. “Love the velvet.”
She twirls, letting the dress whoosh out. “It’s witch chic,” she says with a chuckle. “Want to talk about your shitty night?”
“Not really. I’m just in my own head. Where’s Chelsea?”
“Oh, I gave her the day off. The wedding planner wanted to go over things with her again and it’s been quiet here.”
“Oh my god, again? That wedding planner is so neurotic. Oh well, I’m glad to see you. Want to play dress up, Elphaba?”
Sally cackles like a witch and pulls me farther into the shop. An hour later, I’m decked out in a short black leather skirt and a cream blouse layered with a forest green wrap cardigan and black suede ankle booties.
She eyes me as I pay her, putting a dent on my credit card. Thank god she gives me a discount.
“You still need to do something with your hair.” She’s blunt but I love her for it. I don’t want to go home and risk running into Brooks but she’s right, my hair is a mess.
Sally rubs her hands together before digging in her purse. “I know you said you don’t want to talk about it but whatever is going on, but you know you can come to me anytime.” She pulls out an envelope and hands it to me. “You need to relax and I will never get around to using that.” Opening the envelope, I pull out a gift certificate for Francesca’s Salon and Day Spa.
Tears well up in my eyes. “Sally… this is too much.”
“Nonsense! You deserve it. You work your hands to the bone most days. There’s enough there for a full package so go get a massage and get your nails and hair done. Treat yo self!”
I giggle, but she grabs my hand. “Olive, look at me.” I meet her eyes as they bore into mine, “You deserve to be happy.”
My eyes fill with tears and I give her a wobbly smile. God, she really knows how to get to me.