It wasn’t until I saw you this morning that I realized just how dangerous I am to you. I hurt you, and there are no excuses for it. Last night, I decided to leave, and that’s why I didn’t stop. I couldn’t. Every time I said I would, I remembered that it was the last chance I’d get to have you so close, so I kept going and going until you passed out.
That’s why I need to stop.
Years ago, when I became overprotective of Godfather, I ended up hurting him and the woman he loved. So now I’m stopping before I hurt you more than I already have.
I’ll kill Rolan and leave. Maybe go back to England. Maybe join a few of my colleagues in the various missions in the Middle East. Who knows? As long as there’s adrenaline, I’ll be fine.
I have no doubt that you’ll do great whether Sergei lives or dies. You have more balls than most of the men in the brotherhood, and it’s their loss if they don’t see it.
Don’t look for me. You won’t find me.
Thank you for making me feel like a man, not a shadow, even if you were forced into marrying me.
P.S. Kirill is only threatening you with Reina because he knows you found out Aleksander is a woman. He’ll be out for your blood unless you use your recent friendship with her to change his mind.
Live well, Princess.
Kyle Fitzpatrick
29
Rai
My tears haven’t dried ever since I finished reading the letter Kyle left me.
When I woke up this morning, groggy and so utterly sore, a smile grazed my lips at the recollections from last night. I couldn’t stop grinning like an idiot over how Kyle couldn’t hold himself in.
I was looking forward to talking to him today about everything—the baby, the marriage, our future together.
Everything.
I was even willing to divulge my attraction to him seven years ago, that it took so much self-discipline to stop myself from being with him even though I had a major crush on him. That, back then, I kept my bottled up feelings to myself because I was worried Dedushka would kick him out if he found out my intentions. I preferred to have him as a guard instead of losing him once and for all. At least that way, I could watch from afar and pretend we were together. That’s why his departure hurt more than it should. He disappeared off the face of the earth before I had the chance to express my feelings.
Now he’s repeating it.
I’m not fully over the first time, but he did it again. The only difference is that he has no plans to come back.
A sob tears from my throat as I hold the letter to my quaking chest. My heart is breaking, shattering, and slowly vanishing. And the worst part is that the only person who can make it better is gone.
Damn him. God damn him.
How dare he leave me with just a letter? How could he?
But you know what? I’m not the same Rai from seven years ago. I’m not the girl who put her pride above everything else and stomped on her heart in the process. This time, I’ll find him, and he better be ready for the wrath I’ll unleash on his ass.
I try to get ready as fast as possible, even though I’m so sore it hurts to move. The reminder of him inside me, holding me, caressing me, and kissing me brings a new wave of tears.
Shaking my head, I finish putting a dress on and don’t bother with makeup. On my way outside, I search the local news articles for anything fishy. There’s no mention of Rolan being assassinated, so that means it didn’t happen yet.
His death would cause an uproar in the media since he gets involved in many notorious business ventures.
Katia stops in front of me, her eyes holding questions she’s not voicing aloud.
“I need to find Kyle. Have you seen him this morning?”
She shakes her head.
“I don’t care what you have to do as long as you find him. I’ll go ask Granduncle for backup.”
I’m marching to his office before she can reply.
Anastasia is waiting near it, her brows drawn together, and she’s wearing black slacks and a jacket. It’s so rare of her to wear anything but dresses. She smiles upon seeing me, but she must sense something is wrong because she jogs toward me.
“Is everything okay, Rai?”
“It will be.”
“Are we going to the company?”
“You go first, Ana. I’ll join once I finish my business here.”
She swallows, her throat working, and a strange gleam passes in her eyes.
“Is there something you want to say?”
“I…I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For everything. I love you, okay?”
“Love you, too, Ana.”
She wraps her arms around me and then retreats, not allowing me to see her face as she turns around and leaves.