I’m tempted to lie beside her like this, but I don’t want any of the blood marring my clothes and skin on her. She has the ability to make me feel like I do have filthy hands, and those hands keep on tarnishing her over and over again.
If I were sane enough, I would’ve stopped this vicious cycle of tainting her every step of the way, but I’m fucking insane when it comes to this woman.
I strip on my way to the bathroom and take a quick shower, letting the blood cascade down the drain.
When I return to the room, Rai is still curled on her side, but this time, a frown is etched deep between her brows. My chest tightens at what she must be dreaming about—the memories from today.
All I want to do is erase them and protect her, not only from those heinous memories, but also from the world.
Not bothering with clothes, I lift the covers and slip in behind her. My arm snakes under hers and I place my palm on her stomach and stroke it over the cloth, searching for what, I don’t know. It’s not like I can feel the life growing there this early.
I never thought about becoming a father before. I was like Rai and found the idea of a kid ridiculous. But ever since I saw this woman again, all I’ve wanted to do is put that life inside her.
It was a way to keep her with me, bind her to me so she’d never think of leaving me. Did I go overboard by switching out her pills? Probably. But I don’t seem to have a moral compass when it comes to this woman. Most of the time, I’m acting on pure instinct like a fucking animal.
“Mmmm,” Rai mumbles, the sound pained. Her brows furrow further and her breathing turns harsh. “No…mmmm…n-no…”
“Rai,” I softly call her name.
“M-mmm…no…”
“Rai.” I grab her face, and while my touch is gentle, my voice is anything but. “Wake up.”
“Mmmm…”
“Come on, baby. Open those beautiful eyes.”
“Nooo!” Her voice catches and a tear slides down her cheek and clings to her upper lip.
I shake her shoulder and she startles awake, her mouth agape and her bright eyes unfocused. Sweat covers her temples and her brows.
“It’s okay. I’m here.” I wipe the tears staining her cheeks.
Her chin trembles as she stares at me over her shoulder. “They…they were grabbing me…I didn’t…couldn’t…fight…”
“It’s over, Rai. It’s all over, okay?”
“They…they stripped Sasha in front of me and almost raped her and I…I couldn’t help her.”
So Rai finally figured out Kirill’s second in command is actually a woman. About time someone did.
“But you did help.” I plant a kiss on her forehead. “You did great. You were strong, Princess.”
Her breathing slowly calms as she tilts her head further to get a better look at me. The sadness in those electric blue eyes bug me, especially since she seems sad about something entirely different than her nightmare about the kidnapping.
She attempts to face the other side. “Stay away from me.”
“Not so fast.” I grab her chin and force her to face me. “You said all night long, remember?”
“What?”
“I will make you forget about those scum.”
Her eyes widen, but she doesn’t get a chance to protest as my lips devour hers. She stiffens but doesn’t attempt to push me away, her arms lying limp on either side of her.
Like me, she can’t ignore the synergy that blossoms out of nowhere whenever our bodies are close to one another.
Wrenching my lips away, I whisper against her, “Tell me you want me.”
“No.”
“Rai…please.”
She purses her lips before releasing them. “I’m not talking to you right now.”
“But I want to talk to you. I want to touch you and make you forget. But if you don’t want it, I can go to another room.”
“Don’t go,” she whispers, and before I can be relieved, she continues. “This is only because I feel weird due to the hormones. It means nothing. I don’t forgive you and I’m still not talking to you.”
A muscle works in my jaw, but I bottle up my reaction for the dozenth time tonight. We’ll see if this means nothing.
I trap her lower lip between my teeth as I pinch her nipple over the cloth. It hardens into a tight bud in no time, and Rai arches her back. Her pupils dilate and her arse grinds against my hard dick. I don’t know if it’s because of the hormones or what happened today, but the look of ecstasy on her face is like nothing I’ve seen before.
Still clutching her by the jaw, I slide my other hand down her body until I find the hem of her nightgown. I bunch it up to her waist and part her legs enough to push the crown of my dick inside.