“Having DID means I spend a lot of time forgetting things and having time blocks. I knew there were more but we weren’t good at communicating like some are. If not for journals I’d be completely lost. So no, it’s not really sad, more like... a blank space that I can’t make full sense of.”
I could tell he was uncomfortable now, and the last thing I wanted was for him to pull away from me. We needed a major subject change, one that didn’t involve reliving our pasts.
“Will you read one to me?”
You’d have thought I asked him if he wanted Christmas to come early with the way he let out an excited laugh. Now he wasn’t just walking with me, he was running to lead me to the gazebo. We sat down on the bench, and I snuggled into his side as a breeze blew over us. He tensed slightly before relaxing and wrapping an arm around my shoulders, his free hand holding the book.
I couldn’t tell you what the myth was about. His voice was low and soothing, and I let it wash over me as I considered all the shit that had happened over the last week and why I was letting myself get so comfortable here.
Yet I was powerless to stop it. For the first time, I was making real friends and finding myself. And that was almost worth the pain I’d fought through to make it to this very moment.
Dark Haven wasn’t perfect, but it was quickly becoming the first real home I’d ever had.
ChapterNine
Harlow
Saturday Morning
Third Floor
Something shifting on my bed had me bolting upright. My heart pounded in my chest as I frantically glanced around, expecting a monster to be attacking me again. Instead, it was Layne, crouched on the end of my bed like a goblin.
“Morning. You sleep deep,” she commented before hopping down and flipping on my lights.
I groaned at the sharp sting and covered my head. “Layne, what the hell?” When she didn’t respond I pulled my cover down and blinked to adjust my eyes. She was perched by the door, leaning against the wall with a wide, unapologetic grin.
“Breakfast time. It’s waffle day bitch, get your ass up, the others won’t wake up,” she called. She wasn’t satisfied until I’d pulled myself out of bed and thrown my hair in a messy bun. I skipped changing out of my sweatpants and oversized shirt since she was watching me like a hawk. Knowing Layne, she wouldn’t have batted an eye at seeing me naked, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to go down that road right now. I was too tired to deal with her commentary.
The hallway was quiet and dark when we walked out there. Layne hooked her arm through mine, humming a cheerful tune that sounded an awful lot like the Mario theme song.
“Breakfast?” Hiro’s hopeful voice echoed down the hall, and Layne stopped and turned, which also forced me to follow suit.
“Come on if you’re coming, I’m hungry,” she called back. He took her at her word and sprinted to catch up to us since she was already turning us back and hitting the elevator.
“Thanks,” he huffed out as he bent over, hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. “I really need to exercise more.”
“Waffle day waits for no one, Hiro,” Layne said as if she were imparting ancient wisdom on him. He bit back a smile and caught my eye, both of us trying not to laugh at how serious she was right now. Knowing Layne, she’d take it personally, and I wasn’t trying to piss off the few friends I was making around here. She rushed off the elevator the moment it opened.
“Is it usually this busy?” I asked as soon as she shoved open the cafeteria doors. The noise level had me wincing and seriously considering going back up to my room. She narrowed her eyes on me as I took a step back. A looming shadow appeared behind her, as if it were a champion of her frustration. My eyes widened and I took another step. My hallucinations had been so quiet lately I’d almost forgotten that I was crazy for a second. Though my old counselor said I shouldn’t call myself that, but why not call a bird a bird? Sane people didn’t see something akin to a boogeyman on a regular basis.
“Don’t you dare, Harlow. This is a pivotal moment in our friendship. I don’t eat alone,” she growled. The complete personality change didn’t take me by surprise like it did at first, so I merely nodded and stepped into the room behind her, side-eyeing the figure that was watching me. My heart was pounding so hard it felt like it’d crack my ribcage open right here and now.
Hiro slid his hand in mine for solidarity, and I gave him a grateful smile, letting the gesture pull my gaze from the creepy asshole stalking us. My eyes burned with unshed tears, hating that such a tiny gesture could mean so fucking much to me. But the moment he touched me, it grounded me, the noise seemed quieter and my panic shrank to manageable levels. The figure was gone the moment I glanced back, and that was the only reason I walked farther into the cafeteria.
Now that I could breathe again, I could smell the sugary scent that was wafting through the dining room. The buffet line was filled with stacks of waffles and toppings. Layne didn’t hesitate to rush forward and pile two plates high with waffles, adding more toppings than I’d ever seen one person eat.
The rest of the patients clearly knew how important her waffles were; they parted as she carried her precarious tray back to the table.
“Her ability to eat that amazes me.” Hiro chuckled as he started making his own waffles one-handed, so he didn’t have to let go of mine. It felt too good for me to want to be the one to break the touch so I didn’t. At least not until I had to pick up my tray.
Now that I wasn’t in a fog like the other times, I actually paid attention to the cafeteria around me as we walked to our table. Most of the cafeteria was like any college cafeteria, no supervision. But along the back wall was a separate dining area. There was a half wall that separated them from the rest of us. The cafeteria workers brought their trays over and a guard stood outside of the entrance. Orderlies milled around the tables.
“They’re high security. The dangerous ones,” Hiro said. “They’re on the fourth floor.”
“They’re all dangerous?” I questioned.
“Well, there are some that aren’t even allowed to come down here,” he admitted. “These are the ones on good behavior, I guess. We never get much on them, but Nurse Drew is a bit of a gossiper if you catch her in the right mood.”