“I know,” I told him, sucking in an anxious breath. “That’s what makes me so nervous. I’ll be so far away, and in such a different place. What if the letters I write aren’t able to reach you?”
Dushka made a scoffing sound as we headed down the hill that would take us directly to the river. “Commerce and correspondence have been making their way over the mountains in both directions for over a hundred years now. It’s always been that way, and I’m certain it will always be so.”
“It might take longer, but you’ll still be able to send letters,” Ludvig said. “I’ve sent things to my remaining relatives in the Old Realm before, and they’ve gotten them and replied. Though none of us particularly want to keep contact with each other. Not after the way Rurik and Magnus were treated.”
My eyes popped wide for a moment. I’d forgotten that Magnus’s deceased lover, Rurik, had been Ludvig’s brother. I’d forgotten that Ludvig had been born in the Old Realm. I knew Magnus still had family in the Old Realm—the royal family, to be precise. King Julius was Magnus’s brother—but I had never stopped to think that Ludvig might still have family over there too.
“Do you want me to take a message to your family?” I asked him.
Ludvig grunted. “The only Gravlocks left in the Old Realm can go fuck themselves, as far as I’m concerned. The only one who was ever worth a damn was my sister, Mercia, and even she hasn’t written to me in two years.”
“She might not have been able to, what with all the trials and tribulations we’ve heard the Old Realm has endured in the last year,” I said. What I didn’t add was that she might have been dead.
Everyone in the Old Realm might have been dead. I wasn’t truly certain what I was walking into. We knew something was still going on over the mountains. There was still trade between us and the Old Realm. News of King Julius taking the throne had made it to us, and as I understood it, King Julius knew Magnus had declared himself a king as well. In Kettering, we’d also heard rumors that there were soldiers up near Tesladom, but no one had been able to corroborate those rumors.
I guess I would know for sure in a day or so, since the boat I was about to board would row all the way up to within a few miles of Tesladom.
We reached the river’s edge, and most of Anton and Ludvig’s party continued on.
“Do you want to say one last goodbye to your friend?” Ludvig asked Anton. The look in his eyes was kind but sad.
“Yes, please,” Anton said.
“I’ll just give my final orders to Uriah and the others,” Dushka said, stepping away to give Anton and I a moment alone.
I didn’t care what Anton thought of me. Once we had a little privacy, I threw my arms around him in a tight hug.
“I really will miss you,” I told him. It felt like I was hugging all of the Sons and telling all of my friends I would feel their absence keenly.
“I’ll miss you too.” Anton hugged me back. I could feel the tension in his body as he kept his arms around me longer than he might have. “I wish we’d had more time together.”
“Me too,” I said, squeezing one last time, then stepping back. I thumped his arm. “It will be alright,” I told him, glancing past him to Ludvig. “I know it will be alright.” I grinned. “And when I get back in a year and all the Sons are together again, I’ll demonstrate all the Old Realm fucking techniques I plan to learn on your soft little ass.”
That finally earned me a smile from Anton. He shook his head and said, “You’re just as bad as Peter and Jace.”
I laughed with him. “No one is as bad as Peter and Jace.”
We stood there smiling at each other for a moment before Anton’s expression turned forlorn.
“Good bye, Conrad,” he said at last, taking a step back. “Stay safe, and come home.”
“I will,” I promised him.
I stood back and watched him hurry to catch up with Ludvig and the others. A hollow feeling formed in the pit of my stomach, like I was separating from Anton and all my friends forever.
I forced that feeling away, turning to head over to Dushka by the side of the boat. It was only a year. One year. And who knew? I might be found out as a wolf before then and sent packing.
Anything could happen.
“Are you ready for this?” Dushka asked me, taking me aside and resting his hands on my shoulders as Uriah and the others finished loading the boat, then stood waiting for me.
I nodded quickly, but I really wasn’t certain. “This is a huge thing,” I said, dragging my eyes slowly up to meet Dushka’s.
“It is indeed,” Dushka agreed with a smile, though his eyes had gone glassy, and his cheeks pink. “But you’re up for it.”
“I hope so,” I breathed.
Dushka moved his hands to my face. “Remember what we talked about,” he said, eyeing me seriously. “I don’t want you to save yourself for when you return home to me. I mean it when I say I want you to fuck as many fancy Old Realm people as you can. I want you to enjoy yourself in every way. I’ve given you plenty of money for the year, so eat, drink, fuck, and bring back every sort of obscene story to tell me across the pillow next year, do you hear me?”