Her laugh sounded like a rich bubble of released tension. “You noticed those?” She nodded. “Yeah. I replace the buttons on my clothes with fun ones that I find.” She shrugs. “It’s like I’m still rebelling even though it really doesn’t matter anymore.”
“I fucking adore you,” he said without thinking.
She blushed but didn’t call him out on his bullshit.
Which only made him love her even more.
What the hell was his problem?
It was like he kept standing on the cliff face of commitment going, “I’m not ready!” And in the next breath yelling, “Geronimo!” and leaping into the unknown.
He really needed to decide how to or even if he was going to tell her he loved her.
And yeah. It was love. He loved her. He’d loved her for a while now but he sure as hell wasn’t ready to tell her that. Not until he knew if she wanted him to love her or not.
And yes, it was exactly as ridiculous as it sounded.
“What about you?” she asked. “Anything you’ll do differently for your kids? Unless you don’t want kids,” she included at the end.
“I do want kids,” he said carefully. “I want the whole thing. Eventually. I used to think having kids would be terrible. For the kids.”
Her eyebrows dipped but she didn’t interrupt.
“Because I struggled so much. I was afraid of that for someone else. What if I was just as bad a dad as I was a son, you know?” Whoops. That got serious. He cleared his throat and tried to lighten his tone. “But I think maybe if I have the right partner, I might have a shot at being a decent dad.”
“You’ll be a great dad,” Sabine said with a serious frown. “And I suspect you were a delightful child.”
He rolled his eyes but she wasn’t done.
“Dave, you took one look at my weepy face today and showed up. You didn’t get uncomfortable that I was crying. You didn’t tell me to stop. You just stayed with me and let me feel how I felt. Not once telling me how Ishouldfeel. That’s A+ emotional support skills.”
He chuckled. “I think that’s my first A+.”
“I’m serious,” she said.
“I know.” He held her gaze and then nudged her with his foot. “Emotions don’t freak me out. If anything, it’s refreshing. I’m an emotional guy. It’s nice knowing I’m not the only one.”
She narrowed her eyes like something just made sense to her.
“That’s why you like Taylor Swift.”
He smirked but didn’t deny it.
“Should we try to go out tomorrow?” he asked.
“I’d really like that,” she said.
He glanced up and the gentle look she was giving him was almost enough for him to confess all of his hopes and dreams and beg her to stay with him forever.
Yeah, he had it bad.
He’d never felt this intensely about a woman.
And they hadn’t even slept together yet.
Well, they’d slept—never mind.
He knew he was going to have to tell her about the celibacy thing. He just didn’t know when.