Hide the hate and the lust.
Don’t let her knowexactlyhow badly I want to tear her to pieces and make her scream my name as I do it.
Chapter4
Blair
“I’m freaking out, Marie, and I don’t know what to do.”
She frowns at me over the sound of hammering. Men walk past carrying wood and nod as they slip toward the kitchen. The air’s full of the smell of drywall, sawdust, and sweaty man, which normally wouldn’t be so bad but it’s like any suggestion of masculinity makes my legs cross right now.
Except for Baptist. Which is somehow even worse.
“Come on, let’s go upstairs and talk.” Marie leads me by the arm up the main staircase. The house is gorgeous and right in the heart of Old City, the nicest neighborhood in all of Philly. It’s historic and cost a small fortune, and now Marie’s overseeing its renovation while trying to keep as much of the old-world charm as possible.
The workers are everywhere downstairs, but upstairs is quiet. We stand in a lovely, large bedroom, entirely empty, and Marie drifts over toward the big bay windows. I follow and look out at the block, at the trees and the nice cars, and wonder how I’ll ever have something like this.
It’ll never happen. Not for me, not now.
There’s too much at stake.
“What’s going on?” she asks, crossing her arms. “I’ve never seen you looking so worried.”
“I’m freaked out, honestly.”
“Is it Baptist? Is he being—”
“No, he’s fine,” I say quickly, although it is Baptist, just not in the way she’s thinking. “The company’s fine. Cowan’s insane, very insane, but fine. I think. It’s personal, actually.”
She softens a touch. “Max? Your mom?”
I shake my head. I filled her in on the vague details during her wedding week—about my mom running off and Max coming to live with me—but haven’t updated her since. I try to keep that stuff close and don’t like to let people see the ugly truth, which is probably a trait I got from my messed-up father.
“It’s me.” I lay a hand on my stomach and bite my lip. “Don’t tell anyone. Please.”
She looks at my hand, frowns, looks at me, tilts her head, and her eyes finally widen. “No.”
“Yeah.”
“How? When? Who?”
“Well, when a man loves a woman—”
“Seriously, Blair. When? Who?”
“I found out yesterday. And I can’t tell you who.”
She shakes her head. “This is huge. You’re pregnant! You know who the father is, right?”
“Hey, asshole. I’m not just throwing myself around town, okay? Yes, I know.”
“Right, okay, I’m sorry. It’s just, wow. You’re pregnant.”
I lean against the wall and slowly slide down. I close my eyes and fight back the tears, but they’re hard to stop once they’re on my lids. Marie sits with me and wraps her arms around me and lets me cry for a minute before I finally wipe my face and grin.
“I’m pregnant,” I whisper. “Surprise.”
“Oh, god, sweetie. I’m so sorry. It’s going to be okay though, I’m here for you, whatever you need.”