“Hell yes! Pizza sounds amazing, but first, I want to stop in here.” Nate walks into a baby store and I am so confused but I follow him. I mean, he did put up with the sex shop. That was fucking awkward. I’m nervous to see if Rooke likes what I bought. I don’t have a small dick by any means, but he once showed me a picture of him and his ex, and compared to that monster, I don’t match up. I lied to Nate when I said it was because of Rooke.
I know it’s probably all in my head, but the fact that I have yet to fuck him, makes me wonder. He makes me feel amazing and I just want to return the favor. I think I might love him, and I don’t want something as stupid as the length of my dick to come between us.
Rooke has been my rock since the day I met him, and I don’t want anything to cause him to leave me. We met after I got back home and immediately clicked. After being burned so many times by the girls in Boise, I switched to guys. I’ve always been attracted to guys, I just hadn’t experimented with it. Meeting Rooke changed my life. I know it hurts him that we have to hide what we are, but my father would never understand. We have a strained relationship as it is, and this would just put him over the edge. The only one who would have loved and supported me no matter what isn’t here anymore.
Nate walks over to a row of soft stuffed animals, and I sigh when he grabs a small rabbit. “Seriously, bro? You need to move on. I know it’s hard, but it’s what needs to happen,” I say and he gives me a sad face.
“I love her, Cal. I think I always will. Even if it’s just on the sidelines. She is my best friend, despite the fact that our families are fucked up. I know what her dad did is unforgivable, but Patience is not to blame. She was innocent in all of it, just like we were.”
He grabs the rabbit then moves to the checkout counter. I know he’s right, but he hasn’t been around our dad in a long time. He hasn’t seen the fits of rage. Or the muttered death threats he screams when he’s been drinking.
Even if we weren't ordered to stay away from Patience, I still would, just to keep her safe. Who knows what our father would do if she was to come back around?
Chapter Ten
Iquickly pay, then leave the store. Patience’s birthday is coming up in a few days, and I know she will cherish the small gift. Cal keeps pushing me away from her, and I get it. I do. But it still doesn’t stop the way I feel about her. How I have always felt about her. Distance did not change anything between us. Honestly, I think it brought us closer. All of our late-night chats and phone calls once she turned fourteen and got a cell phone, were the highlight of my day.
I remember the day she sent me a message on social media. At first, I hesitated, worried someone would find out. But after three unanswered messages, she replied that she was sorry for bothering me and that she wouldn’t contact me anymore… I felt my heart shattering all over again.
I missed her so badly. The night my mom was killed, my father immediately made plans to send me to my grandparents in England. I thought it was just going to be a small vacation, but when Cal didn’t come too, I knew something was wrong.
I had just lost my mom, was told I could no longer see my best friend, then was ripped away from my twin. After arriving in England, I fell into a bad depression. My grandma thought it was just teenage hormones, and grief over my mom. In hindsight, I guess it could be a possibility, but I barely ate, slept all day, and I became cruel. My grandparents are some of the nicest people you will ever meet, and I know I caused their hair to go from gray to white in a short period of time.
When my rabbit messaged me, everything started to get better. I joined more activities in school, and my grades improved. I started returning to the boy I once was. My father might say she’s bad for me, and that I need to keep away, but she’s a large part of what keeps me sane. What prevents the darkness from overcoming me again.
We get back to the car and Cal tosses me the keys, shocking me. I haven’t driven in a while, and to give up control of his precious car is outstanding. “You scratch her, I will kill you,” he mumbles, then climbs in the passenger side. I glance around the parking lot, checking for hidden cameras because this has to be some kind of prank. A joke. Something.
I open the driver’s door and start the engine. The whole car rumbles and I smile. I have always loved fast cars. I mean, who wouldn’t? When we were younger, we used to race dirtbikes. I love the rush of an engine between my thighs, going at fast speeds.
I check the back-up camera and slowly move out of the parking space. Cal snorts at my driving, but it’s been a while. “Are you even licensed to drive in the states?” he asks me and I shake my head, making him laugh harder. “We will get that fixed tomorrow. Let’s go get some food, then head home and play games. You still owe me a rematch on Donkey Kong,” he says and I laugh with him.
“Damn, I haven’t played that in forever. Not since that…” I trail off and his laughter turns somber.
“Yeah, but you’re home now. Things are going to get better. We’re adults now. Father can’t control us for much longer, and as soon as I get my inheritance, I’m out of this place.” I think about what he’s saying, and I agree, but I’m also sad. I don’t want to leave if my rabbit doesn’t come with me.
I drive to the pizza place in town and find a spot to park, then shut off the car. Cal is clutching the door panel as if he’s scared for his life. I roll my eyes and laugh. He shoots me a wink, and climbs out. He’s such an ass sometimes. I follow him, and toss him his keys.
The place hasn’t changed at all and it’s not too busy, so they seat us immediately. The smells make my mouth water, and Cal orders us a large supreme with extra olives. Our favorite. I also get us some hot wings to share and a pitcher of Mountain Dew.
“We used to come here every Friday. You, me, Kian, and Pay,” I say and watch my brother's smile turn to a frown. I hate that he doesn’t like talking about the past. It’s some of my best memories.
“Yeah, I haven’t been here in five years. I sometimes order delivery, but it’s not the same.” Our waitress drops off our food, and gives me a flirty smile. I don’t return it, so she looks to Cal, but he’s not paying attention. He seems lost in a thought, staring at his glass of soda.
“You good?” I ask him and he nods, running his hands through his messy hair, and brushing the scruff on his chin. He seems to be rocking the unshaved but trimmed look now. Looks good on him, maybe I’ll do the same.
“Yeah, I just didn’t sleep well. This looks fucking amazing,” he says, pointing to the pizza and wings. My stomach growls and I dig in. Within minutes the platter is empty, and I feel sick.
“Ugh, I ate too much,” I groan and he nods, laughing.
“Same, but fuck was it good.” I grunt in agreement and let him pay. I still need to change my currency to US. At least my credit card works.
“Ready to go?” Cal asks and I nod, slowly climbing out of the booth. I feel like I’m going to burst. “Dana is going to be pissed at us. I know she’s planning a pot roast for dinner—your favorite. I groan and he laughs.
When we reach the car, I let him drive and close my eyes for a minute, hoping to settle my stomach. “I’ve missed you, Nate,” Cal sighs and turns the radio down. I laugh and smile, opening my eyes.
“I’ve missed you, too. I still don’t understand why Father kept us apart all these years. Seems stupid,” I say and Cal laughs.
“I don’t think I will ever understand Father. He seems to be becoming more and more unstable lately. Saying things that don’t make any sense. Soon we can just get the hell out of here.”