I lost all track of what was going on in the show, consumed with imagining him putting his arm around me and pulling me close to rest against his chest. He’d kiss the top of my head, or I’d tip my chin up and our kiss would linger, become something more. I blew out a long breath and squirmed in my seat.
“Is it too hot in here?” he asked. “I can turn the thermostat down.” He started to get up, but I assured him I wasn’t too hot.
Not because of the room temperature, anyway. My little fantasy crumbled. The things I wanted were things that couples did, not bosses and their employees. He seemed to think watching television together was no big deal, but now I knew it was more than I could handle. I was already so attached to Harrison and Ava and loved living there so much that, if we kept spending time together like this, laughing and sharing junk food like a married couple, the more I was going to like him. And trust him. And then get my heart broken after he fired me because he was my boss.
Now that I was so close with the kids, I worried more about how much I’d miss them than becoming homeless again. It didn’t matter that he thought it was okay. I knew it wasn’t strictly professional, and therefore, it was extremely dangerous. We needed to communicate because of the kids but not be this friendly.
I knew all this and yet couldn’t make myself get up and go to my own room. When the popcorn bowl was empty, Will put it on the coffee table, and somehow, we started drifting closer together. When something crazy happened on the show, he grabbed my arm and adorably asked me if I saw it, as if I wasn’t right there. The sound of his laughter made me tingle. His earnest questions about the cast and the way he turned his full attention to me when I answered, all made me as wild as the smell of his cologne. There was no way he was that interested in that stupid show. He was there for me, and it was intoxicating.
The way his glances were burning through me, along with the fact I knew exactly what I was missing out on, consumed me to the point I was willing to risk everything if he so much as brushed my thigh with the back of his hand. All I had to do was turn my head to face him, and I knew he’d meet me in a kiss. And, oh boy, did I want that.
Freddy came running into the room and snuffled around for spilled popcorn. I jumped and snatched him up, my heart sinking. Will had made it very clear he didn’t want a dog but had made an exception if I kept Freddy out of his sight.
“I’m so sorry,” I said. “He was in with Ava, but he must have gotten out when she went to the bathroom or something. I’ll go put him back in my room.”
Will tilted his head to the side, seeming confused by my panic. “It’s fine, Bailey. I don’t really mind the little mongrel.”
He seemed sincere, but my grip on my squirming dog brought me back to reality with a crash. Trying to keep Freddy when I didn’t have a permanent home was terrifying and exhausting. I couldn’t go back to that, no matter how much I wanted to crawl into Will’s lap a moment ago.
I faked a huge yawn. “I’m really tired anyway,” I said. “Ava’s got that dentist appointment in the morning…” I backed out the door and fled to my room, sinking onto my bed before I let Freddy go.
I watched him as he gave me a side eye, then shuffled to check out his food dish before jumping up and settling down at the foot of my bed. I petted his wiry fur until my anxiety subsided. I didn’t like it, but it was settled.
No more late night TV parties with my boss.
Chapter 13 - Will
I rescheduled my morning meeting, so I could have breakfast with the kids and tell Harrison he could quit soccer if that’s what he really wanted. At least that’s what I told myself the reason was. I really wanted to see Bailey again to make sure she was all right. The haunted look on her face when her dog came snuffling in looking for crumbs last night was eerily similar to the look she gave me when I accidentally crashed into her in line at the water slide.
I hadn’t actually been kidding about not wanting to ever see the dog, but I’d really just meant I didn’t want it underfoot all the time or have a free run of the apartment. Did I come across as such an ogre that Bailey was actually scared of me? It seemed ridiculous, but the way she ran out like the room was on fire last night had me worried. I knew I could be gruff, but I thought we’d been having a good time, and it was disappointing that she got so spooked.
Hell, I knew it was probably the dog sensing I was about to make another huge mistake with its mistress. I was only minutes away from kissing her, and I knew that rearranging my schedule to spend even more time in her presence was probably supremely stupid.
But my head didn’t seem to function properly when I was around her. And I didn’t exactly hate it.
My kids both had waffles and a strip of bacon, I had my black coffee, and Bailey had a bowl of yogurt she was cutting extra strawberries into. She absently put a couple of strawberries on each of the kids’ plates and my heart swelled at the caring gesture. That was poor brain function on my part, plain and simple, because it was her job to take care of the kids, which included making sure they ate some fruit now and then.
“So, Harrison, I hear you want to quit soccer,” I said.
He shrugged and nodded. “Maybe just for the summer.”
“That’s fine,” I told him. I knew he didn’t want to start up again in the fall but was just trying to appease me. Fresh guilt slid down into my gut. “You don’t have to play if you don’t want to.”
His skinny shoulders relaxed, and he broke out into a smile that was full of gratitude and wonder, aimed squarely at Bailey. As depressed as I was that my kids didn’t seem to think they could come to me with their problems, I couldn’t help but feel the way Harrison did toward her.
“Thanks, Dad.”
I clung to his thanks like a starving man to a crust of bread. Maybe I was doing okay, after all. “But what do you want to replace it with?” I asked. I knew what he was going to say, because Bailey had told me, but I wasn’t convinced it was the best idea.
He groaned, looking once again to Bailey for help and she nodded encouragingly. “It’s supposed to be free time,” he explained in an exasperated tone.
Ava put her fork down with a clatter. “If Harrison gets free time, I want out of gymnastics.”
My dream of her competing in a far off Olympics came crumbling down. I gave Bailey a long look. “You know free time for them means more work for you, right?” I asked.
I was pretty sure the only reason I kept any of our former nannies for as long as I did was because the kids were in their activities most of the time.
“I’m fine with that,” she said.