I was pretty sure I knew what he was apologizing for, but wanted to hear him say it out loud. “Sorry for what?”
“The erection digging into your leg.”
I lifted an eyebrow at him, me looking up and him looking down so our eyes were locked. “You’re apologizing for finding me attractive?”
“I’m apologizing for the filthy thoughts engulfing my mind that you luckily can’t hear.”
My lips curved upward a bit.
Something about the way he wanted me made me feel… powerful.
And not powerful because I possessed icy magic, but powerful because I was enough to make a king who excelled at self-control lose the tight rein I knew he kept on his thoughts.
“Never apologize for that.” I lowered my head back, resting my ear on his chest. The steady thump of his heart was somehow both calming and exciting at the same time.
He was alive.
He was solid.
He was mine.
And I was his.
It had been a long time since I belonged to or with someone. Vena and Diora had been mine to take care of, but they didn’t take care of me. For so many years, I was the only one who had done that.
But now, there was someone in my bed, holding me close, who had taken care ofme. Someone protective, and kind, and safe.
And those things made him even more attractive to me than he already was.
“What else would you have me do about them?” His voice was low, one of his hands slipping around me to come rest on my bare back.
“Enact them?”
He made a noise of disagreement. “I’d scare you away.”
I scowled. “I’m not easily scared.”
“Of course not; you’re the bravest woman I know. I didn’t meanscare you awaythe way I said it, that came out wrong.”
“So what’s the problem, then?”
“The problem?” He continued stroking my back. “The problem is that my body tells me to rush things, when my mind knows you deserve to experience everything the way one experiences a slice of cake. Slowly, with time to taste every fucking morsel and let the rich sugar cleanse your soul.”
A soft laugh escaped me. “Don’t tell me this is where you start writing love letters to cake, Espen.”
He flashed me an amused grin. “There are worse things I could write love letters to, don’t you think?”
“I guess.” I couldn’t hide my relaxed smile. “So you want me to have time to relish every moment of whatever happens between us?”
“Exactly. I never want you feeling afraid, or uncertain—I want to take things more slowly than we need to, so we don’t drag up bad memories. I want you focused on the moment we’re living in, not the pain of the past. And I know I will inevitably trigger you at some point or another, in which case I expect you to tell me immediately so I can stop. But when that happens, I want us both secure in the knowledge and memories we’ve already made, so that you know you’re safe with me no matter what your past is trying to say.”
“Damn.” I tilted my head, so my forehead rested against his neck. He continued stroking my back. “I remember you being on-board with having sex in your living room earlier.”
His lips curved upward a bit wickedly. “I didn’t have enough time to process everything, then. In case you didn’t realize, my brain works slower than yours.”
I rolled my eyes at that. “You know that you’re a brilliant man, Espen.”
“Steadfast and determined, maybe, but not brilliant.” His free hand lifted to my hair and slid through the short, soft strands. “Not that I need to be brilliant when I have a queen as bright as you beside me.”