“It’ll get easier,” I promised her, trying again to tug my arm away from Namir.
Once again, I was unsuccessful.
“It feels like the magic is sort of resisting me,” she said, frowning my way.
I nodded. “It’s you and the magic both, I think. You’ll have to get used to leaning into that power instead of avoiding it, and it’ll take some time, but you’ll be able to stretch it further and use more of it the more you practice.”
She stretched her arms and shoulders out a bit, wiggling her fingers and head as she tapped into her magic again. Darkness leaked from her fingertips, her eyes narrowing as she watched the light leach itself from the world around her.
Jesh stared at her so intensely I nearly fanned myself.
“Stars,” Namir murmured, watching his friend use more magic than he’d probably realized she could. “What did you tell her?”
He didn’t have to nudge me or use my name for me to know he was addressing me.
“I taught her what magic truly is. Which you should’ve taught me.” I tried yet again to free my arm from his grip, but his fingers only tightened. “Let me go, bastard.”
“Not until you’ve had a conversation with me.” For once, his voice wasn’t playful. It wasn’t angry or cruel either, though.
I growled back, “You knew there was no monster within me, and you let me talk about it like a fool. We have nothing to discuss, Namir. Release my arm, and go back to your damned castle.”
“You werenevera fool.” His words were sharp, and his shadows wrapped around us, separating us from Jesh and Lavee. His hand remained around my bicep, and he stepped around to the front of me so our eyes collided.
His were dark, and the emotions in his eyes had me growing quiet. “What was I supposed to say to you, Diora? You had just gotten free, and you were so scared of me and yourself that you were living in the forest rather than the castle. I couldn’t tell you that you were your own monster; that would’ve crushed you. I intended to explain everything as soon as you decided to train with me, I swear.”
“And if I’d never decided to train with you?” I asked, my voice shaking a bit.
“Then why the hell would you ever need to know? Some things are better left undiscovered, Love.”
“You don’t get to decide those things for me,” I shot back, though I knew my argument was weak, and weakening by the moment. “And you don’t get to call meLove. Not anymore.”
His lips curved upward slightly, a bit of that soft playfulness that I loved returning to his eyes. When he was genuinely teasing me for the fun of it, he was nearly impossible for me to resist. “And how will you respond if I do,Love?”
Damn him.
Damn him to the damned stars.
“Drop your shadows, or I’ll drop them for you,” I said, my voice harsh. “This conversation is over.”
His other hand lifted to rest on my cheek.
For some ridiculous reason, I didn’t shove it away.
“Tell me honestly what would’ve happened had I admitted to you on day one that you were the monster you feared, Diora. Tell me how that conversation would’ve gone down differently than I imagine it, and I will step back and give you as much space as you want.”
Damn him.
I tried to imagine myself, back in the forest.
He was right; I’d been terrified.
So, so terrified.
And those first few days in the castle… stars, I was an uncertain mess.
His lips lifted the tiniest bit. “I won’t push you to let me share your bed again, but please come back to the castle. Let me teach you how to fight with a sword, not just your teeth. I’d feel a hell of a lot better if you could protect yourself… and maybe you can do for my warriors the same thing you did for Lav?” He gestured with his head, toward the place she had been standing.
I sighed.