Lights and trees and screaming, so much screaming. Then I realized it was me screaming. I was sure those were my last moments.
I closed my eyes and spun away to where all my problems disappeared, too scared to really grab any of them and hang on. The beauty of sheer fear, of being whipped around on a metal chain, was I realized I was so damn fragile but so amazingly strong in the same moment.
My life was like that. Dougie had shown me strength and weakness.
And I had survived it.
As the ride started to slow and we lowered to the ground, I found I had survived this too.
“That was…” I waited for Sandy and Jay to come over as we left the ride. “Amazing!”
“The fact that you could scream that long is amazing,” Jay retorted.
Sandy laughed as if he was making fun of me, but his blue eyes twinkled as he looked over her head at me.
He lost his smile when Brady’s arm went around my shoulder, pulling me close so he could kiss my cheek. “You’re a hell of a date, woman.”
I nodded and looked away from Jay. Just my “friend with benefits,” I reminded myself.
Next, Brady insisted we get funnel cake before pie because I’d told him I’d never tried the fried mess of dough.
“Jay, you think my mom would have raised me to eat funnel cake?”
“No. Well, maybe if Wren offered, but I’m guessing he didn’t.”
“Exactly.” I sighed. “I’ll have one piece.”
Sandy grew on me when she smiled and confessed, “I promise you won’t be able to stop with just one bite.”
It looked like fried brains but tasted like a warm donut doused in oil and sugar. “Oh my god. Why didn’t you get this for me earlier, Jay?”
“Because how was I supposed to know you hadn’t eaten carnival food? Dougie wronged you.”
I nodded, suddenly more solemn than I wanted to be. “He did. But not anymore.”
Jay’s jaw ticked as I said the words, and when I licked the powdered sugar from my fingers, something in his eyes shifted. “Brady, I’m calling dibs on my friend for the fun house. It’s my favorite little part of this festival and I’m dragging her through it.”
Brady shrugged. “Sandy, guess you’re on my arm behind them for it.”
Sandy whined, but Jay had already grabbed my hand and was pulling me along. He murmured something to the employee that was manning the fun house and then we were walking through it.
“Jay, you know I’ve been in a fun house before.”
He grunted but continued pulling me through.
We passed a room that had contrasting colors swirling around and then one where we walked on uneven floors. “We’re not even enjoying it.” I pointed to a wall that was painted in swirly colors but didn’t seem all that astonishing.
He continued to pull me through a room that had a mirror every which way and I saw the determination on his face, like he wasn’t going to stop. Yanking my hand back and stopping both of us, I ground out, “Jay. I’m not even seeing the fun of the house.”
He spun on me. “That’s not the point of me bringing you in here.”
“What’s the point, then?” I put my hands on my hips, ready for him to say something ridiculous.
“Do you see yourself in all these mirrors?”
I turned my palms up as I shrugged. “Sure?”
“Do you see what I see, though?”