My jaw clenched. I hated that he’d done this. I was that dumb little bug, always drawn to the light that zapped and stung when touched.
Jax was my light.
And he’d burned me again.
God, I kissed him, let him get me off.
“You what?” Vick screeched.
Katie’s eyes popped open wide in disbelief.
“I what?” I jumped.
“You just said you kissed him.”
“Shoot,” I mumbled, realizing I had thought out loud.
Neither of my friends knew what to say. Even Vick, who knew what to say to everything, couldn’t come up with a comment.
I turned up the volume and paced as the commercials ended. “I mean, he can exercise with me, act like we’re getting to know each other again, help me study, and …”
“And kiss you?” Katie added.
I waved her off. “And go visit him again.”
The host smiled like he was about to share America’s biggest secret with us. “Jax Stonewood, on his way to visit his one and only prisoner friend. We’ve seen it before, guys. Now, we have a bigger scoop. We asked sources to share with us why Jax would have any contact with someone behind bars. Turns out he is still visiting the infamous Frank Whitfield, his former next door neighbor. It has been speculated that Jax now believes Mr. Whitfield may be innocent and he looks up to the former businessman and investor. We’re told they now have investments together. Or maybe, he’s visiting him because he’s been spending time with someone new.”
Suddenly a picture of us flashed on the screen. We looked like we were enjoying a jog together when we’d really been running to get away from the paparazzi.
“Is that Frank Whitfield’s daughter? Jay’s on-and-off-again girlfriend? You decide!”
The ringing in my ears started soft as I saw the percent of people voting.
As the numbers rose, the ringing raged, and my vision blurred with a tinge of red.
The coils dug in hard to the anger, trying desperately to hold the beast it had become.
Katie stood in front of me, calling him names while Vick’s melodic voice sounded like it was trying to soothe me.
I didn’t hear their words though.
This had happened before.
They tried the same words to soothe me, but this time was different.
This time, Jax had woven himself into my life again.
I didn’t need to hear what Vick and Katie were saying. I knew the dialogue. I knew exactly how their faces would look. I knew they would run out and get me wine and ice cream. I knew my friends were here for me.
I just didn’t know how to keep my rage coiled and compress it enough so that I could control the fireball it had become since seeing him.
I could have screamed. I could have thrown a fit. I could have gone off the deep end and called him to confront him immediately.
Instead, the fireball choked me as it bubbled up into my throat. It burned and clawed its way up, trying to make its way out of me in a scream. I shut my eyes so hard, I saw spots behind my lids. When I opened them, they were wetter than before, but I told myself this wasn’t crying. It was just my eyes watering from holding in the fireball.
Vick rushed forward while Katie raged for me, “Where is your phone? That motherfucker is going to answer our questions.”
I didn’t answer her, I just let Vick hug me and rub my back. I didn’t respond to either of them. I didn’t think I could respond to anything right now.