CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
JAX
LEAVING that damn woman’s apartment was like leaving a song unfinished. Aubrey spoke to me like the perfect melody, a harmony that wrapped you up and stuck on you for days. When I got that close to her, she was that damn hook in the song that made me forget any other song existed.
I would rather have climbed through barbed wire than her doorway at that moment. Because whether she wanted to admit it or not, we made the perfect song together. No other man could get her off like I did.
At least I fucking hoped so.
That hope had me spiraling. I got back to Jay’s empty house and figured focusing on the algorithms for my new app would help.
Instead, I tried to break down her facial expressions. I couldn’t read her as well anymore and didn’t know if she meant everything she’d said.
Did she think learning about the bullshit Frank and I talked about would help, would allow her to forgive me for leaving her?
Hell, I could barely forgive myself.
Add to it the shit I did for him while he rotted in prison, not even the devil would forgive me. Probability was not in my favor, and I wasn’t willing to risk her never talking to me again.
I’m not proud to say I spent hours working over a single glitch in the app and it amounted to nothing. I couldn’t focus on how we were going to swing the PR. I couldn’t focus on when the best dates were to maximize profits on the launch concert. I could barely focus on what music should be put into the app first.
Walking down to the lake finally cleared my head. Any lake was an old friend of mine, ready to bring clarity where it was needed.
Mostly because every lake reminded me of her. The calmness, when everything was quiet at night, lapped quietly at my soul and soothed every nerve just like she could. When the winds picked up and the waves crashed into the rocks nearby, I remembered her wild and free near the lake that night so many years ago, begging me to let go with her. Her dark hair caught in the wind, whipping away at the world, her eyes a vivid green, and her soul so lit up, it battled out all the darkness around her. She’d finally become herself, and there was no way I would ever let someone take that independence from her.
All of this was for her. She may never know it but protecting her from her father was about the only thing I was willing to give her up for.
I didn’t waste more time there but jetted back to the city to work out more details.
My flight took longer than expected. It allowed me to map out the investments I wanted to make, calculate the stocks with just the right amount of risk, and discover that the app would generate more success than Stonewood Enterprises had ever expected.
My driver was waiting for me when we finally landed. He mumbled something about Isabel instructing him to tell me to call her. I grunted and as I slid into the black SUV, my shoulders relaxed like a damn weight had been lifted.
Here, I was comfortable. I was a Stonewood and that held the most weight in this city. My instant fame from one album didn’t matter in the city where my name overpowered it. People feared and respected us here. It reminded me of why I left in the first place.
Here, I could hide away from my demons and could make something of myself so I didn’t have to focus on selling my soul to the devil.
I remember distinctly the day the news broke of my visit to see Aubrey’s dad in prison. Tabloids everywhere captured me striding into the building and variations of “Jax Betrays Family by Visiting Whitfield” were the headlines. Walking into Stonewood Enterprises that day to let my dad know the news wasn’t something to look forward to.
He mirrored an older version of me, a version that had been around the block, had calculated his every move, and had learned everything the hard way.
He was a better man and a scarier one. Before I walked into his office, I almost turned around and fled back to my mother, thinking nothing could be worse than disappointing and facing him.
Walking through the doors and seeing the look he had on his face made me realize two things that day. My father wasn’t just a ruthless businessman, he was also a ruthless father.
“You all right, son?” he asked quietly, his eyes working over my face as if he could find the answer before I opened my mouth.
I nodded and let him scrutinize me more.
He nodded back at me as if he’d come to the conclusion that day that I was a man, a Stonewood man. “You want me to handle this with Frank and the tabloids?”
“I’ve got it taken care of.”
“Your mom loves Frank’s girl like her own, Jax,” he warned.
“Yeah, and I love her more than I do my music, my life, and my damn soul combined,” I answered back.
He sighed and ran a hand over his face. “I figured that. Be careful, then.”