“Come on,” Jax goaded me. “Just relax and let him cook for us.”
I turned and glared at him over my shoulder.
He raised his hands up in surrender. “Truce, all right? Come sit down. I won’t bite.” He patted the barstool next to him. “Brey,”—he said with a deeper voice—“come sit down.” He enunciated the words as if that would help my decision.
When I saw Jay tense though, I gave in because I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. “I can only stay for a little bit. I have to get back, and really I just want a salad.” Jax put his hand on the small of my back and rubbed while he leaned in and said, “Jay will be hurt if you don’t eat his burger. It’s a new meal he’s trying.”
“Don’t lie.” I straightened to try to deter the rubbing that sent sparks to areas I didn’t need them sent. “He makes this all the time.”
While Jay threw more spices on the grill, Jax whispered in my ear. “You told me you were reviewing your assignment alone this afternoon. You lied.”
“And you told me you were going back into the city,” I hissed leaning away from him.
“Only because you canceled on me.” He waited a beat. “Now, I’m wondering the real reason you canceled.”
I looked away. I wasn’t going to tell him it was because I wasn’t sure us hanging out was helping me to get closure. I wasn’t even sure I could find a way to call him just my friend.
Especially with him sitting there rubbing my back.
“Stop that.” I shoved his hand away, and he laughed.
I wanted to scream at him.
“And burgers are served,” Jay said turning around with a pile of plates and burgers. “You guys get started. I’m going to go change. Got grease on this shirt.”
He disappeared from the room and I felt the walls closing in. I could swear Jax felt it also, because he got up from his stool to move in closer to me.
“Why did you cancel today?”
I rolled my lips between my teeth and didn’t answer. I couldn’t. Not with him so close. Not with him holding my gaze like he wanted the world from me and was willing to take it. Jax never settled for less, and I was sure I couldn’t give him any of it.
Not even an answer to his question.
So, I shrugged. He grunted as he took a step closer. “Whitfield, there’s a reason.”
He was right. There was a reason I wasn’t willing to share.
He gripped my thighs and my eyes shot to his hands. Then, he started to rub circles.
It was automatic for him. It had to be muscle memory.
Or something he did with most women.
My body didn’t think so though. Heat flooded my veins, and my heart echoed those three words I’d heard him say on the voice mail.
When he stepped closer still, my legs spread willingly to let him push up against me. He leaned down, and I looked up at him.
The man couldn’t be denied what he wanted. Not when he looked like that. The sun shone from the window onto him like a god, and he smirked at me like he knew I’d be fine with him right up against me, close enough to kiss me.
We’d been this close before, closer six years before, but right then, I teetered on the brink of insanity. So off balance and unsure.
Yet, I’d been on solid ground for a long enough time without him.
I’d played it completely safe.
With him looking at me like he used to, I wondered if we needed to fall over the edge into insanity, to get lost in each other to find ourselves again.
At the moment our lips would have touched, Jax turned his head and smelled my hair.