I rolled my lips between my teeth to hold onto the words I wanted to respond with. I loved him, I couldn’t stop loving him even if I wanted to. “I’m not strong enough to keep doing this, Jax.”
He took his hand from my face, and I felt the loss of warmth immediately. “Don’t be strong anymore, then. I’ll be strong for both of us.”
He turned on the song from his phone and sat back.
An acoustic guitar played at first, soft and sweet. We both stared ahead as the train rolled on.
When his voice came over the ear bud, it mixed with him there right beside me as he sang along.
“Sweet Sin, Sweet Sin. You pulled me in.
You’re my beacon in the night, won’t ever stop being my light.
I loved you before, ever more, ever more.
Sweet Sin, Sweet Sin, I love you now.
Stop fighting it. Just fight for this.
For this. For us.
Ever more, ever more.
Sweet Sin.”
He harmonized every word and people on the train started to turn and stare. His voice mixed joy and sorrow together and wove them up so beautifully, I didn’t know whether to cry or smile.
The guitar took over and he slid his hand to my thigh to rub circles as tears streamed down my face.
He stared at me staring at him. Then, he mouthed at me, “Okay?”
I nodded and mouthed back, “I love you.”