CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
AUBREY
THE TWO WEEKS before my internship flew by more quickly than I would have liked. I passed my class with an A but couldn’t bring myself to call Jax and share the news.
So, I dove into focusing on ironing out my internship schedule, figured out a plan to move to the city by continuing to rent my apartment month-to-month until I found a place, and spent as much time at Margie’s as I could.
Each time, she would tell me that we could find a way to tell the kids I wouldn’t be around as much. I just told her they were a big part of my life and I would still be there every week. A lot of me had changed, but my love for that place hadn't. My goal was still to learn to invest well enough that I could keep them afloat in the future.
One particular day, the kids were so hyper when I arrived, I asked Margie what had caused it. She sheepishly admitted that Jax had started to visit. I didn’t comment on that news, but I left with my blood boiling.
He knew better than to start coming to visit and then drop it all when he decided they weren’t convenient anymore for him. And that would happen.
He’d done it to me, and he’d do it to them.
I tried my best not to seethe about it. I went running that day, I talked it out with my friends, and I even went running again.
That night, I dialed his number.
"Peaches, you all right?"
Hearing that voice again laced with sleep had me forgetting the real reason I called and remembering all the reasons I shouldn't be. I wasn't immune to him yet. I still loved that voice, still wanted to wake up right beside him and hear it. My body ached knowing I wouldn't ever be able to again.
I whispered out a lie, “Of course, I'm all right. Why wouldn't I be?"
He cleared the grogginess from his throat. “It's the middle of the night.”
I glanced at the time on my phone and winced. "I didn't realize it was two in the morning."
He hummed. "I'm glad you finally called. We should talk—"
"I didn't call to talk about us," I snapped, knowing I didn't have the strength to rehash our issues. "Margie said you went to visit."
He sighed.
"I specifically asked you not to do that! They need stability."
"Who's to say I can't be stable?"
"Are you kidding?" I said.
"Whitfield, don't say some shit you're going to regret," he warned, his voice low.
"Oh, please. You're one to talk about saying shit you'll regret! You couldn't wait to throw my father in my face."
He groaned. "I never should have—"
"It doesn't matter," I said quickly. "God, none of this matters. Except you are not going to see the kids anymore. They've been through enough lately."
"I'm not going to put them through any more. I plan on being around. I won't let them down with that."
"Like you planned on not letting me down?" The question jumped out of my mouth before I could stop it.
"You know damn well you made the decision for both of us to stop what we were doing when you went to see him. I didn't let you down, Peaches. And I've called. You don't answer."
"I can't make the same mistake my mom did."
“What the hell does that mean?”