Maybe I should have given Jay and myself the satisfaction of waiting him out and making him answer. Maybe we deserved it.
But my soul was intertwined with his, and I didn’t want to lose them both. We had to come to each reason in our own time and his reasons haunted him just enough for me to stop the conversation.
“Jay shouldn’t have ever asked the reason because ...” I turned to Jay. “Jay, it’s not your place. I don’t need either of you making decisions for me.” I threw my hands up, frustrated with it all. “I don’t need you discussing me like I’m not here, either. I’m not a fucking fly on the wall. I’m a woman, or maybe still a girl, but I get to be as reckless or conservative as I want because it’s my life.” I stared both of them down. “Mine. No one else’s.”
Jay cleared his throat and, with a bit of a sheepish smirk, side-eyed Jax. “So much for the Sass Pot keeping her voice down.”
Jax’s smile reached all the way to his eyes as he chuckled. “Never fails to amaze me how quickly you can put us in our place, Peaches.”
I took a quick sip and ignored both of them patronizing me.
Our conversation came easily after that. Questions weren’t answered and reasons weren’t given. Our histories weren’t explained and our futures weren’t mapped out.
I accepted that recklessness. I accepted the pain that would come with it.
For the first time in a long time, I started to believe I could handle it.