I nodded like this was what I needed. “That sounds great. I definitely need to see Jett while I'm there too.” I cleared the anxiety from my throat. “I could see Jax too.”
“You could see him or you want to, Brey?”
“I know I should define this for you,” I said.
“You shouldn't do anything for me, babe. You should do it for yourself.”
I sighed. There wasn't an easy way to define the barreling heartbreak that I saw coming from a mile away. It was wrapped in a tall, beautiful package that made me want to melt with pleasure half the time and scream with rage the other half.
I saw insanity written across my head in the mirror each morning and still couldn't define the relationship I was getting into.
“What if I said I am trying to be honest with myself?” And I had to be because for the first time ever, I started to realize my mom hadn’t been honest with me about so much. For so long, I based my feelings on that dishonesty. My past, my views of my mother, my idea on how I was raised had to be rewritten, and I had to start with honesty.
“Sounds like we need to talk over a drink, not over the phone.”
“Can you be easygoing, fun-loving Jay without worrying while I'm there, please?”
“After we have this talk over that drink.”
I smiled. “I miss you.”
When we arrived the next day, Jay had rented hotel rooms for each of us.
As I unpacked in my suite and looked out over Chicago, the city pulsed with life.
In the distance, the Stonewood Tower’s rippling glass windows resembled waves reaching into the sky. It dwarfed other towers and stood as tall as the Sears, like a guardian watching over everyone—a king, reminding them all who ruled.
I shivered, thinking of how Jax emulated the same reaction in this city. This was his territory, and I hadn't let him know I'd walked into it.
When Jay sent a car for me so I could meet Jett at Stonewood Tower, I weighed my options. Jax would be there too. I didn’t think I should ambush him and show up in his office, but what if he didn't see me at all or what if he wasn't in? Then, there was no point in burdening him.
On the other hand, Jay could have told him I was coming, although Jay never really got around to telling people half the things that were going on.
I opted to let it play out. We were friends. Friends in a gray area leaning towards something more but, if anything, that was casual.
Casual. A word I never thought I’d end up hating.