If he’s truly blaming me for his lack of control, that’s bullshit.
Before I can think better of it, I dial my mom’s number.
“Raven?” My mom’s voice is thick with sleep, and I immediately burst into tears.
Regret pulling me down.
Good grief.
I didnotneed those last two shots.
I’m so emotional, and even with my mom cooing soothing words into the phone, I can’t stop the torrent of tears flowing down my face.
“What’s wrong, baby girl?” she asks, and I cringe.
What did I think would happen when I called her after midnight, crying like a lunatic?
“Is this about your boss?”
I want to crawl into a hole as soon as she asks. How is she so perceptive?
Sure, she knew I was working late tonight with him, but why did her mind immediately go to Charles?
I don’t bother denying it. It would be pointless anyway.
“I messed up, Mom.”
“What happened?” There’s no judgment in her voice, only concern. She’s always been my rock. The person I know would never turn their back on me, no matter the mistakes I make. The very last person I ever wanted to disappoint.
I burst out crying again before I even have a chance to say anything.
“Raven. Talk to me. What’s wrong?” she presses.
“We kissed. I... let things get carried away.”
The memory of what we did crashes against me, and I nearly buckle over. I feel sick to my stomach.
“Take a deep breath and tell me everything,” she says, sounding alert for the first time since I called.
“I-I can’t. I don’t w-want you to know,” I say through hiccups.
She sighs. “There isn’t a thing in the world you could tell me that would make me think less of you, Raven Marie. I love you unconditionally.”
Those words break the last of my resolve.
Unconditionally.
I tell her absolutely everything, and it only makes me feel worse.
The shame is intense, and now that my mom knows the whole truth, guilt wracks me, despite her words of assurance.
“Why didn’t you tell me about this before?”
She’s hurt. I can hear it in her voice. I’ve never kept secrets from her. Not since my dad died.
I sigh. “How many daughters talk so openly about these things with their moms?”
“I’m not interested in what other people do, Raven. You know I’d never judge you. You’re an adult. You’ve always been open with me.”