Before Sam made it fully into the house, Kristin all but ran out into the living room, clutching a bowl of ice cream and pointing her spoon into the air, using its movement to punctuate her every word.
“I’m mostly mad because you didn’t invite me. I get that you have your own study group and y’all do God knows what in the wee hours of the morning in the library, but going to Social and not–”
“I kissed Callum,” Sam blurted out, quickly burying her face in her hands. She was still trying to debate if that had actually happened or if it had all been some massive hallucination.
“What?” The spoon was frozen; stuck in the air as if Kristin was about to use it to cast a spell.
“I kissed Callum,” Sam admitted again. This time at almost a whisper.
“Callum?Callum Barker?Mr. Newbie-Asshole that you can’t stand?” Kristin stared at her in confusion, the spoon still suspended in the air.
“I don’t know what happened. He was at the work event tonight and then…and then he invited me to hear a band, and I don’t know. We were just standing there and then he had his arms around me and then he said something about how he liked the way I smelled and then he kissed me,” Sam explained in a rush and then promptly started to cry.
“Oh, shit.” Kristin discarded the bowl of ice cream and makeshift wand and rushed toward Sam. “Did he hurt you?” Kristin’s hands cupped Sam's face, forcing her to lift her gaze as Kristin promptly assessed everything she could see.
“No. No, it wasn't like that at all. It was… It was… It wasperfect.”
That caused Kristin to pause, a confused look etched across her face.
“Okay. Then why are you crying? These don’t look like happy tears.” Kristin’s finger brushed away a droplet as it raced down Sam’s face.
“This isn’t my plan, Kristin. He isn’t my plan.” Sam reached for the tissue box, embarrassed that this was what one kiss had reduced her to.
“Sam, it was just a kiss. He didn't propose, he didn't even ask you to hang out with him at a later date, did he?” Sam shook her head in answer. “Okay. Look. You have to know that plans rarely go the way we want them to,” Kristin countered, still not having let go of Sam’s face.
“But my plan has to.”
Kristin deflated, then took a deep breath and let the words flow.
“Sam. I love you. I have loved you since the day we met. You are my best friend. You are the kindest and most genuine hearted person I know. You are also a smartass, and you will one day be a fucking amazing doctor who will cure all sorts of diseases and save millions of lives. But–”
“I don’t think it’s a good sign if ‘but’ comes after all of that,” Sam said the words through the lingering hiccups that now plagued her.
“But,” Kristin continued, not letting Sam deter her, “I need to lay down a truth for you that might be hard to take.”
Kristin paused for a moment, waiting for Sam to shut her down.
When there was nothing but acceptance in Sam’s eyes, Kristin continued, “You force yourself to have this unmeasurable amount of control over everything in your life because your childhood was the definition of chaos. You crave stability and consistency and routine because it issafe. But life doesn’t care what you want, Sam. Life will throw you seventeen different curveballs all before you finish your morning coffee.” Kristin wiped away another lone tear. “And Callum Barker may be a curveball. A beautiful, sexy, annoying curveball. He is not a part of your plan. Micah wasn’t a part of mine either, and here I am looking at wedding dresses every night.”
That caused a burst of laughter to come from Sam.
“But just because he isn’t a part of your plan doesn’t mean he can’tbecomepart of it. Let life happen, Sam. Let it throw you a curveball or three or seven.Let yourself live.Because if you don’t, then one day, when you are old and gray and covered in wrinkles–”
“I’ll find a cure for wrinkles,” Sam quickly interjected and Kristin laughed.
“One day, when you get to the end, I want you to know that it was worth it.”
Sam stared at her friend for a moment as she took in her words. They were the complete truth and she knew it. She had spent the last twenty-one years of her life building up a wall around herself. A barricade meant to keep out anything and anyone that might even hint at the chance of causing a detour. She knew somehow that Callum Barker could shatter that barricade in a matter of moments. He could somehow weave himself past every single defense she had in place and bury his roots deep within her. She hated him for it. She also never wanted it to end. She contemplated what this path would look like if she made room for something unplanned. That thought scared her more than she was willing to outright admit.
“What if I regret letting him in?” Her words were a whisper.
“What if you regret keeping him out?” Kristin countered.
Sam closed her eyes and tried to picture every future path she could. Except, no matter how hard she tried, not even she could predict her future.
“Okay,” she conceded.
“Okay?” Kristin looked at her as if that answer came as a complete shock.