The words settle over me like a wet rag. I’m suffocating.
“You’re shitting me, right?” I ask, sitting up slightly and staring at the side of his face with confusion.
He’s not even looking at me.
“I’m not.”
It takes a minute for the words to register, and then I’m shoving him off of me, and I’m standing up on wobbly legs. His cum slides down them, and I want to scrub it from my skin. It’s no longer sexy. Now, it’s just a reminder of how vulnerable I was with him just moments ago. How he’s been lying to me.
“What the fuck, Whit?”
He turns to look at me, shame on his face, his eyes glassy and despondent.
“I’m sorry, Caleb.”
“You were cheating on your fiancé with me?” I run a hand through my hair and then mutter, “Oh fuck. This is so bad.”
He sits on the bed, pulling a sheet over his waist, and I stare down at my own flaccid cock.
“Who is he?” I ask, thrusting my legs into my boxers, needing armor for this conversation.
“It’s not a man.”
“You’re shitting me.”
“It’s a woman.”
I laugh angrily at that. “Stop fucking with me.”
“I’m not.”
I tug on my hair roughly. “Are you for reals right now? What is this shit show, Whit? Why the hell are you engaged to a woman? You’re gay!”
He swallows roughly, and he clutches the sheets tightly.
“It’s all a formality. It means nothing.”
“Is that who you’ve been texting?” I ask. I cannot believe this. Can’t wrap my head around it. He’s engaged to a woman.To a woman.
“Yes. We’re getting married in May.”
“In May?” I’m shouting now, unable to help it. He’s tearing apart my world, ripping my chest open. I’m bleeding out on the fucking floor. “That’s in like four months, Whit. What were you going to do? Fuck me until you were headed down the aisle?”
He bites down on his bottom lip and shakes his head. “I didn’t know what I was doing with you. I…I don’t want to do this. To get married to her.”
I’m pacing now. “Then don’t do it, for fuck’s sake.”
He lifts his head, a tear streaking down his cheek, and it takes everything within me not to softly wipe it away.
“I can’t. I have so much riding on this.”
“So much so that you’d marry awomanto get it?”
Whit swallows, another tear moving down his cheek. He swipes at it and nods.
“Give it up then! Give it up, Whit. Your happiness is more important than money.”
He inhales shakily and then meets my gaze. “I was fine with it. Fine with it until I met you. Why did I have to meet you?”