“Yeah.” Drew slowly approached me. “I need to deal with this crap.” He glanced at Snow, who I’d forgotten was sitting in a corner, nursing Max. “Stay here with her and the baby.”
Just what I needed while making a fool of myself, an audience.
“Sure. Go do what you have to do. I’m fine.” I honestly was okay. I was also disappointed at how he’d reacted to my pouncing on him and declaring I couldn’t lose him. Boy, I felt ridiculous.
Drew stared at me like he didn’t believe me.
“I’m fine. Go.” I flicked my hand to brush him away and joined Snow in the far corner.
“If you need me, I’m just—”
“I know where to find you.” I plopped onto the cold concrete floor and crossed my arms over my chest.
He didn’t move, keeping his intense eyes on me. “Ryder will stay and guard you.”
“Okay, thanks.”
Our eyes stayed locked. He looked irritated.
Hero gripped Drew’s shoulder. “Let’s go.”
Reluctantly, he followed his friend. Once Drew was out of the locker room, I buried my face in my hands. I wanted to scream in frustration but wouldn’t in front of Snow and Ryder. Plus, there was a baby beside me. I could hold it together. I wasn’t the weak, out-of-control woman I’d been a year ago.
Snow leaned into my shoulder. “Hey,” she whispered. “How are you really?”
I lowered my hands. “Embarrassed. You saw me jump into his arms. I crossed the line and probably ruined our friendship.”
“Aww, I don’t think so.”
“He looked mortified.”
“He was surprised. To be fair, I was too.”
The sincerity in Snow’s voice put me at ease. I didn’t know her well, but the few times we’d chatted, I felt safe with her. I liked her and her husband, Boxer. And their precious son, Max, made me yearn for a baby of my own.
“I don’t understand why you’d be surprised. Someone just opened fire on the building. Drew could’ve been killed.” I pressed my hand to my heart. The thought of him dying nearly brought me to tears again. “I was happy to see him alive.”
Snow placed her hand on my knee. “Can I be totally honest with you?”
“Please do.”
“I know what happened to you, so seeing you jump into his arms wasn’t at all expected.”
“I get what you’re saying. It was an automatic response.” I exhaled a heavy breath. “For nearly a year, nobody could touch me.”
“Understandably.”
“But I’ve changed. It used to be when Drew got closer than a couple of feet, my heart would race. I was never far from a full-blown panic attack. In my head, I’d put a plan together of how I’d fight him off if he attacked me. It was stupid because he’s the last person who would ever hurt me. I know that, but still, my mind would go there.”
“And now it’s different?”
“Yes. I haven’t been like that for almost five months. Well, not with him anyway. Others are different.”
Snow smiled softly. “Does Ire know how you feel?” She brought the baby out from under his blanket and put him on her shoulder to burp.
“No. I guess he doesn’t.” I touched Max’s tiny fingers. He was eight weeks old and adorable. With the burp cloth on Snow’s shoulder, I dabbed the bit of breast milk on his lips. His eyes were heavy, his cheeks pink. I was glad he had no clue what had happened here.
“You should tell him.”