25
Jaynee
Luckily Karma was home from work when Maddox arrived. It didn’t take much convincing for her to agree to watch Sadie for me. She could see I was a hot mess when she’d walked through the door. I’d paced the floor, lamenting over Zander’s stubborn ass. Karma’s advice was to run and run far away from the MC and all bikers. The woman had the largest chip on her shoulder. I couldn’t trust her opinion of bikers after it had been tainted by Nova’s father. So I took everything Karma said with a grain of salt.
I glanced at Maddox. We were speeding down the dirt road like it was a life or death situation. His tight jaw and narrowed eyes didn’t help the anxiety building inside me.
“What do I do when we get there?” Not knowing what to do was a first for me. The MC life seemed very different from what I was used to. Maybe Maddox could help me. He might only be nineteen, but he grew up in the club and knew more than me. Surely he could give me some tips.
Maddox’s knuckles turned white as he gripped the steering wheel of his Mustang. “I’m not sure what you’re asking.”
I rolled my eyes and turned away from him to hide my annoyance. It wasn’t easy to get a straight answer from any of the guys in the club. They all seemed suspicious of everyone and tight-lipped as if they’d been bred to be that way.
“Come on, Maddox, I’m a newbie. I don’t know the ins and outs of an MC. Ire said the kittens were after him. That he needed me. Help a girl out.”
He slowed his car as we approached the massive gate. My freaking stomach cramped when Ryder stepped out of the guard shack holding a big gun. During the day, he didn’t look so intimidating, but at night, dressed in all black, he scared the hell out of me.
We were waved in when the electronic gate opened. I’d given up hope on Maddox helping me.
He parked in front of the clubhouse and turned toward me with a grim expression. “I don’t know what you’ll see when you get in there. How much do you want Lynx?”
“How much do I want him? We’re friends.”
He hiked a don’t-bullshit-me eyebrow.
I exhaled a breath, pressing my hand to my uneasy stomach. “I like him more than a friend.”
“I know. Just needed to hear you say it. The kittens will have their claws out. They could be fucking in the bar, so you need to prepare yourself.”
I gaped. “Are you joking right now? Please tell me your joking.” I might throw up. It’d only been a few hours since Zander left my place totally undone after seeing his mom. I shouldn’t have let him go when he was clearly upset. What was I supposed to do? Block the door and forbid him from leaving?
If he was having sex with any of the kittens, I wouldn’t be able to handle it. No way in hell would I give any man the time of day who disrespected what I thought we were building… a relationship. I wouldn’t trust him ever again. It didn’t matter if Zander never claimed me in his club. His actions and words made me believe he cared for me. Fucking another woman or more than one kitten would destroy everything.
“The MC world is different.”
“I know this,” I hissed. “But I thought he cared for me.”
“He does. But he’s fucked up right now. I don’t know what happened between the two of you, and I don’t need the details. Lynx is hitting the bottle hard. He’s drunk. Drunk men do stupid shit they never meant to do when women force themselves on them.”
I groaned, opening the door. “God, please. Drunkenness is the lamest excuse for cheating.” I got out of his snazzy sports car and closed the door.
Maddox jogged to the entrance and blocked it. “I’m not making excuses for anyone. My mother would lock me in the quiet room and throw away the key if she heard me defending a wasted man’s actions. But Lynx’s behavior will be altered when you get inside. You’re gonna have to be stronger than him and the kittens.”
I considered his words a long second as the thumping from inside the building pulsed in my ears. After nine o’clock, the bar was likely packed with bikers drinking and relaxing to classic rock music. There would be an audience to whatever was about to go down.
“Move, Maddox.” I pushed him aside. “I’m ready for anything and everything.” I marched my ass into the building, chiding myself for being a liar.
Please, please, please. No sex, no sex, no sex.
My steps halted at the threshold of the bar. I searched for Zander and found him in a corner with two kittens. Amber was one of them. They weren’t fucking, not yet anyway. I couldn’t recall ever feeling so pissed and relieved all at once.
I jumped when a hand touched my shoulder. “Fight for him,” Sugar whispered, then turned me to face her. “You have every right to be angry he’s with the kittens. So you have a choice to make.”
“I do?”
“Yes. You can turn around and walk out of the building. Maddox will drive you back to Karma’s. Or you can waltz over there and not take his shit but be aware, he’s three sheets to the wind and will probably laugh you out the door.”
“Wow, when you put it that way, walking away sounds like the best choice.”