Jaynee and Sadie gasped at the same time, hearing peanut.
I rubbed Sadie’s shoulder. “Miss Donna called me peanut when I was little too.”
“Yes, I did. Your daddy was the cutest little peanut ever. You have his hazel-green eyes. Come give me a hug.” Miss Donna opened her arms.
Sadie hesitated as she looked up at me. Jaynee nudged her along, smiling and nodding. I was sure peanut was confused. Jaynee had just told her I wasn’t her daddy, then my mom called me her daddy.
I shouldn’t have brought either of them here. How could I be so thoughtless?
If I wanted to be with Jaynee, I should’ve gotten tested so I’d know my chances of getting Young-onset Alzheimer’s. If I had one of the genes, I’d move them to Florida.
Dummy, Jaynee wouldn’t let you decide for her.
She wouldn’t have a choice. It would kill me to put her and Sadie through all this trauma. Jaynee was so young. She probably wanted more kids. I couldn’t be the one to give her what she wanted if I turned out like my mom.
As we visited with Miss Donna, it was like theTwilight Zone. She was so alert. Not at all what I’d expected. To say my heart hurt watching her talk and laugh with my girls was an understatement. I knew better. Thisnormalwas fleeting.
Jaynee and Sadie deserved stability and a happy life.
It killed me to imagine a life without them.
What in the fuck was I to do?