He dropped his hand and rolled to his back. “No. What about you?”
“No. I wished I did.”
He just lay there watching Sadie with his hands under his head. I had the distinct feeling he didn’t like talking about his family.
“If you’re the treasurer for the club, did you go to college for it?” I really didn’t know how motorcycle clubs were run.
“I have a degree in accounting, but it’s not a requirement to be in the club. I’m just good with money.”
“Interesting.” I bit my bottom lip as an awkward silence rolled in.
“The day we met, I was in the city visiting my mom.”
I stilled, holding my breath. “Oh?”
“She’s in a nursing home. She’s too young to be in one.” He pressed his lips together.
“Is she okay?”
“No. Her health is failing. When I saw her, she didn’t recognize me.”
Oh my gosh. He was opening up to me. This was huge.
I turned to face him and placed my hand on his chest. “I’m so sorry. Does she have dementia?”
“Young-onset Alzheimer’s.” He took my hand and laced our fingers together. His eyes didn’t leave Sadie. “It’s hereditary. Usually passed down through the mother’s genes.”
I swallowed, emotion building in my chest. It pleased me that he was sharing about himself, but it also made me uneasy. Like there was a reason he was telling me this now.
“Do you have it? Alzheimer’s, I mean.”
“Don’t know. I never got tested to see if I carried one of the three genes.”
“Why not?”
He exhaled a tense breath. “Ignorance is bliss, I guess.” He turned his head toward me. “The disease is why I’ve remained single. Why I planned to never get married and have a family.” He studied my face like he was watching for my reaction.
“But you don’t know if you’ll get it. And if you did, it’s in the wedding vows. In sickness and health.”
He shook his head. “Bullshit. I would never put my wife or kids through what I’ve gone through with my mom.”
“Zander, that’s not fair. You’re a wonderful man. You’d be a terrific father. Just look at Sadie. She adores you.”
“When my mom first got sick, she was forty-three. By the time she was forty-five, she had needed round-the-clock care. That could be me in fifteen years, Jay.”
I teared up and hugged him, caressing his cheek with my hand. “But you deserve to be happy, Zander. Are you happy with the way your life is? No kids of your own? Sleeping with a bunch of different women all the time? No real depth or emotional support, just sex.”
“It’s pretty rockin’ sex.”
I lifted up and shoved his chest. “You’re an ass.” I wiped the wetness from under my eyes.
He sat up and reeled me into his arms. “I’m sorry.” He kissed my head. “I never wanted anything more than sex until I met you.”
“Really?”
“Yes, but how can I knowingly be with a woman, in a real relationship, maybe start a family if I could get sick too?” He shook his head. “I can’t do that, Jay. It’s cruel and heartbreaking.”
I couldn’t hold back my tears. “But the woman has a choice in the matter, Zander. You’re making the decision for her.”