Maddie bit at her lip. She called herself all kinds of unsavory names in her mind. What kind of crazy woman said no to Braden Moyle wanting to hold them?
The seconds ticked by and she could hear his slightly uneven breathing. She wanted to be in his arms. Selfishly, she wanted to make sure the nightmare didn’t happen, but even more selfishly, she wanted to feel him against her. She wanted to feel his muscular body, the safety, comfort, excitement, and love his arms gave her. She was selfish and she should stay on her side of the bed and she should just go to sleep and deal with the nightmare when it came and …
“Maybe just this once since you asked so kindly and you have such lovely muscles to hold me with,” she burst out with. Before he could respond, she scrambled toward him.
He must’ve moved the same moment she did, because they were instantly entangled in each other’s arms. She wasn’t sure where she stopped and where he began, and she didn’t care. She burrowed her head into that perfect space between his neck and shoulder. Her arms and hands were wrapped tightly around his back and one of her legs slung over his. He cradled her close with his strong hands and arms. Neither of them said anything. It was magical being so close and she didn’t want to break the spell.
She’d thought she was tired earlier. Not any longer. She was buzzing with adrenaline and energy and good endorphins. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so alive. Ah, Braden. If only life could be this simple and this good. She and Braden close together and happiness like she’d never thought she could grasp.
The fears that happiness and heaven’s light would never be part of her life tried to sneak back in. She pushed them firmly away. Depravity and darkness couldn’t touch her. Not in this spot. Not while Braden was here to vanquish them. She’d always thought she was ultra-tough and brave and worked hard to prove herself. With Braden, she didn’t have to prove anything or be anything but herself. He accepted her just as she was.
She recoiled at that thought. He didn’t know. She hadn’t shared with him what she was, all that she had done. Should she? Could she? He probably wouldn’t accept her then. Would he push her away? What if his blue eyes filled with disgust and horror?
Braden distracted her from these disturbing and worrisome thoughts as he gently cupped her jawline and turned her face up toward his. In the murky dark, she could see the outline of his features. She knew his face so well. She could imagine she’d see it in her dreams after they parted ways, if she could have dreams of him and not her normal nightmares. Did they have to part ways? She had no answer for that.
His thumb traced her bottom lip and she quivered, anticipation making her body fill with warmth. There were many reasons she shouldn’t let him kiss her, but she threw them all out the window and focused on the incredible man holding her close.
His lips brushed hers softly, teasing and tempting and asking her to respond. Her breath was coming in fast pants and her pulse raced. Braden pulled back slightly, sliding his hand into her hair, gently pulling the ponytail holder out and stroking her hair. Her scalp tingled along with everything else.
He came back in, asking the question again with a feather light touch of his lips to hers. She gasped and fought for control, but she had no strength left to resist him and his incredible mouth.
There was only one response she could give. She pressed her mouth against his and returned the kiss. Braden cradled the back of her head and kissed her so beautifully and thoroughly she knew no kiss had ever or would ever compare to this one. Their lips worked together seamlessly, and she was lost in Braden. All the worries and all the pain couldn’t touch her as long as he never let her go.
She had no idea how much time passed as they kissed. It could’ve been seconds or minutes. She was in a heady, happy, wonderful spot and never wanted to leave it.
He released her from the kiss and tucked her head back against his shoulder. Maddie was safe and comfortable in his arms, but she was confused why he’d stopped their kissing so quickly. She peered up at him in the darkness. The kissing was incredible; she never wanted it to end. Who needed sleep? They could shut out the future and the real world and the darkness inside her. If they just kept kissing.
“Braden?” she questioned in the dark. She could feel and hear his heart thrumming against her chin as if he were running sprints.
“Remember my prayer?” he asked in a voice that sounded raw with emotion.
“Yes.” Prayer wasn’t exactly where her thoughts were at the moment.
“I prayed that we could remain pure as I held you. If we kiss much longer, I’m not sure I can keep up my end of that prayer.”
Fire raced through Maddie. She loved how taken he was with her. But she also respected his intention to stay pure, understood why he’d stopped, and appreciated that he would keep things virtuous between them. He was stronger than her. Much stronger in all the ways that mattered.
“Papa would love you,” she said softly.
He pressed his lips to her forehead and murmured, “I would be happy if he did, but it’s far more important to me that his granddaughter loves me.”
Maddie’s heart raced even faster. She had no response for that. She didn’t want the future or the fear or the pain to creep in. She was in her safe, happy spot and so instead of responding, she cuddled into him and closed her eyes.
“Maddie …”
“Yes?”
“I just want you to know that you are enough. No matter what you think you’ve done wrong, I see you, the real you, and so does God. He loves you, and I love you.”
Maddie let the words sink in and tried to ingest them, digest them, understand them, comprehend them. She didn’t know how to make them part of her, but she wanted to, so she memorized them and clung to him, memorizing him as well. The way he felt against her, his clean smell, his strength and kindness.
Braden said nothing else. He traced his hands along her scalp, through her long hair, over her shoulder. Every movement was tantalizing and beautiful.
Her head became cloudy and sleepy. Maddie fought it, not because she was scared of the nightmare like usual but because she wanted to savor this moment. Somehow she knew … this incredible night with Braden so close and all lit up from his kiss, his touch, his acceptance, his tender words, and his love wouldn’t happen again. This night was one in a million. She’d relish each moment until sleep overtook her.
ChapterTwelve
Braden awoke to Maddie cuddled against his chest, the world still in darkness, and the bedroom door bursting open. He released her and scurried in front of her on the bed, wondering where she’d put the pistol. Why had he let down his guard? Well, that answer was easy. He couldn’t resist Maddie for anything.