Mayrn loved that he told her that. “Well, you’ve grown into yourself nicely.”
Tucker chuckled, met her gaze, and licked his lips. “Thank you.”
She cleared her throat, embarrassed that she couldn’t help but compliment him, but he was miles from that chubby kid who hid with his computer. “So after you graduated high school?”
“I got a scholarship to go to college, but I found out I could have even more benefits if I joined the Army. I really liked the idea of being active, of someone whipping me into shape. I went to the University of Idaho, up in Moscow, and that’s when I met Johnson. We were trained as snipers together and ended up being roommates. He was social and fun and everyone just loved him. I always claimed it was the dimples.”
“It’s hard to not like those dimples.”
Tuck arched an eyebrow at her. She rushed to say, “Not that I would want a man with dimples they just… make him more approachable.”
Tucker’s eyes laughed at her, but luckily he was too much of a gentleman to question her about what she would want in a man. “They do. I designed Friend Zone hanging out at our apartment and listening in while all of Johnson’s friends used social media and praised or complained about different aspects of every site.”
“Some people say you were the ultimate copycat.”
“Oh, for sure. I took bits and pieces from every site and some ideas of my own and made it work. Johnson and his friends tested it for me for a year then I got deployed. Johnson made it to Afghanistan about six weeks after me. About a year later, we were in the middle of staking out a cave in the middle of the desert where many Al Qaeda leaders were supposed to be hiding. He turns to me and says, ‘Hey, I forgot to tell you, that site you designed, we did a huge shout out for it and I think you’re pretty wealthy now.’”
Tucker shook his head. “Biggest shock of my life when I found out his shout out got me a million subscribers within a few days and then the thing went viral and it’s had huge success ever since. I can’t believe Johnson waited that long to tell me, but he said he was waiting for a moment when I really needed it.”
He passed a hand over his chin. “Johnson gave Shane, one of his buddies, access to everything on the back end. He was our customer service and troubleshooter for the eighteen months we were deployed. Shane fixed so many problems. Dropped out of school because he was working so hard. We paid him ten million dollars and he’s never complained. Shane got a degree in Phys. Ed, married, and has three boys. He coaches a bunch of little league baseball teams to give his wife a little bit of space. It’s weird to be semi-retired at twenty-five.”
Maryn’s eyes widened. “Wow. I am eating this up! So, you’re out sweating in the sand watching this cave for terrorists and Johnson drops that on you. What happened then?”
His mouth turned down. “We were hiding in a cave ourselves. We waited for days. It was miserable and hot and we were going out of our heads.” He paused and studied his hands. “Our orders were to shoot every person that came out of the opening.”
Her heart constricted in her chest. The pictures she’d seen. “Did you?” she whispered through a very dry throat.
Tuck dropped his head. “Yes.” After several long seconds, he glanced back up at her. “I’m a monster, Maryn. I didn’t want you to know.”
Maryn shook her head. “I can’t imagine how hard it was for you.”
“It was dark when they came out. Looking through the night vision goggles distorts things and they were all armed. It’s no excuse.” He studied her for a second as if gauging her reaction. “I was so ready to finally be fulfilling the assignment, I didn’t pay attention to who or what I was shooting.” He ran his hands through his long hair. “It’s what we were trained for.”
“What happened when you realized it?” She felt so guilty asking more of him, but it seemed like he needed to get it out.
“Johnson and I both saw therapists. They discharged us early because of mental instability. It was tough.”
“How did you get the pictures?”
He cleared his throat. “Computer geek, remember?” He gave a self-deprecating shake of his head. “I knew the Army was scoping out that cave. I cracked into the satellite imaging and went back over the two weeks before our hit. We did end up taking out a bunch of Al Qaeda leaders, but I found and printed off the pictures of the children. There were seven...” He trailed off.
Maryn swallowed and whispered, “You did that to yourself?”
He nodded, pressing his lips together.
“Oh, Tucker, I wish I could help.”
He met her gaze. His eyes so full of sadness, regret, and self-recrimination. “Are you offering?”
Maryn smiled to try to lighten the mood. “I’m no professional, but I do know how to pray pretty good.”
Tucker arched an eyebrow. “The Lord doesn’t want to hear from me.”
“You’re wrong. He wants you more than you understand.”
Mama Porter bustled through the door supporting a tray overflowing with yummy smells. Tucker seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. He jumped up to help Mama and then served Maryn the tantalizing boneless spare ribs, red potatoes, broccoli, and homemade rolls.
“Thank you,” Maryn called to Mama as she hurried away again. “I hope she doesn’t spoil you like this all the time.”