“No.” She shook her head, though she couldn’t resist watching his reaction. He leaned closer to her and waited. “It’s more of a joke to me. Some of my friends have married wealth. One’s already divorced, but my best friend Alyssa is really happy. No, the pact is more something for my boyfriend to tease me about…” She trailed off again as his eyes widened.
“You have a boyfriend?”
“No, um, not really.” Okay, no more pain meds no matter how bad it hurt. How could she have said something about James? “I’m going to stop talking now.”
“How do you ‘not really’ have a boyfriend?” His dark eyes were intense and probing hers as if he could read the deeper meaning she didn’t want to explain.
Maryn decided honesty was the only option she had if she wanted Tucker to share things with her. “My editor, James.” She sighed then continued, “We date off and on and he asks me to marry him all the time, but it’s not like a boyfriend because I’ve never allowed it to be, even though he wants it to be. He’s just a really good friend who has always been there for me. You probably think I’m awful, flirting with you when I may or may not have a boyfriend.”
“I don’t think you’re awful, I just… hoped you were unattached.”
“I am.” She smiled, hoping he would believe her. She had vowed in her terror of the bear attack to marry James, but she thought the Lord would understand she wasn’t ready for marriage. She could be a saint on her own. “It’s more of a convenience thing for both of us. We work together so it’s easy to go to parties or dinner and sometimes he tries to make more of it than there is. I’ve only kissed him a few times and it wasn’t that fabulous.” Her cheeks reddened but she was committed now. “We don’t have the… sparks that a couple who’s dating should have.” The sparks she’d felt with the man seated across from her who she barely knew and he hadn’t even tried to kiss her. Except on the hand and the cheek. She savored those remembrances.
He nodded, but seemed unconvinced.
“So, you got your Maryn Howe secret, please tell me a story.” Maryn was dying to know more about him. “You and Johnson?”
He clasped his hands together. “It’s kind of a long story.”
“Perfect.” Better if she didn’t talk and say anything else that might push this man away. She wanted to grow closer to him in every sense of the word. Shifting in her seat to get more comfortable, she ignored the wave of exhaustion.
“Are you feeling okay?”
“I’m awesome.” She was a liar and his eyes said he knew that. “Story, please.”
“Okay.” He studied her for a few seconds, shook his head, and then began, “My dream my entire life was to play football. San Diego Chargers were my team.”
“Really? They haven’t been that great.”
“I know, but you’ve got to be loyal to your team.”
“True. Broncos fan myself.”
“Not a bad choice. If you would’ve said Raiders I might’ve thrown you out of the house.” His cheek crinkled when he grinned.
“Ha! No worries. They’re at the bottom of the pile for me.” She paused then said, “So when did you start playing football?”
“Never. None of my foster parents would pay the fees and I was too shy to ask for assistance at school.” He glanced down again. “I was a really chubby kid and got teased a lot so I withdrew into computer games.”
Maryn swallowed. Her heart went out to a young Tucker, shuffled from home to home, overweight and awkward and nobody cared enough to pay for his dreams. So sad.
“I started having all kinds of ideas for how I could improve the games I was playing, so I began designing code and getting involved in a lot of online sites that taught me what to do. I created a few games that made a little money, enough that I bought my own Mac and could hole up in my room and work for hours on end.” He stood and started pacing the room.
Maryn loved his energy. She couldn’t imagine how this strong body could be holed up, miserable and overweight and designing computer games for hours on end. “Did they even check on you?”
He shrugged. “None of my families were awful to me. They were just busy and figured they’d done me a favor giving me shelter, food, and clothing. Usually they appreciated how quiet and easy I was. I’d only get moved to a new home when there were overcrowding issues.”
Maryn repositioned herself in her seat. It was hard to not be able to relax fully against the cushions.
“Are you sure you’re doing okay?” Tuck was next to her chair in a second.
“I’m good,” she reassured him. “The story is taking my focus off of my back. Is that why you don’t like attention now?”
He nodded and settled back into his seat, looking pleased that she seemed to understand. “When you’re a kid that basically hides in the background, it’s weird to have all these people suddenly care what you’re wearing, who you’re talking to, what you’re saying. Just because I came up with an idea and I have lots money.”
“Our society is messed.”
Looking at his clasped hands, he exhaled slowly then muttered, “Inside, I still feel like that little boy sometimes.”