SAOIRSE
What the hell have I gotten myself into?
I’m in my room the next afternoon, sitting in the wing chair while my father talks at me, but I’m having a hard time following anything he’s saying. All I can think about is what I’d agreed to do tonight,whereI’d agreed to go, all while trying to figure out how I could get out of it.
I could simply not show up, of course. But that would be tantamount to admitting to Connor that Iamafraid, that I am too innocent for these things, that I could never please him fully in bed.
It’s not even that I want to force him to stay faithful or want to do those things with him. Half of the things he described sounded painful or terrifying.
But also, if I’m being honest with myself—hearing about them turned me on. And I don’t entirely understand why.
I just want to prove that Icould, ifIwanted to. That if he goes outside of our marriage bed for pleasure, it’s becauseIchose not to do those things with him, not because I’m unable to please him that way.
My father snaps his fingers in front of my face, startling me back to reality.
“Saoirse.” He lets out a long breath. “Are you listening?”
“I’m trying,” I tell him honestly. “This trip is exhausting me.”
“Well, you’re going to have to tough it out a little while longer, especially now that we’re going toDublin.” He shakes his head with disgust. “This boy is playing at something, and I’m going to figure out what. And then, one way or another, I’m going to drag him back to Boston, and—”
“And what?” I let out a sigh. “You can’tmakehim rule.”
“I can do my damndest to make him see the folly of his ways. Andyou, Saoirse, your part to play doesn’t end when that ring goes on your finger.” He runs his hand through his hair, pacing a moment longer before stopping and looking at me again. “What do you think of Connor, Saoirse? As your future husband?”
I think he’s going to drive me mad with desire. I think he’s offering me a strange sort of compromise that frightens and intrigues me all at once. And I think that maybe he’s right, that both of us having lovers is for the best, because if I gave all of myself to him—I’m absolutely certain he’d break my heart.
I don’t say any of that. Instead, I just shrug. “He’ll do,” I say casually enough, getting up from the chair.
“That’s it?” My father narrows his eyes. “A little more, please.”
“What do you want me to say? He’s stubborn, and he’ll want to do things his way, but at the end of the day, my job is to lay on my back, give him children, and keep his house. He’s handsome enough to make the first two bearable, and he’ll be rich enough for the last to be comfortable, so what else should I think? He’ll do.”
“That’s not all your job is, Saoirse.” Graham frowns. “I can already tell that Connor thinks to make me a figurehead, to let my advice and instructions go in one ear and out the other, just like his father and brother before him. But with your help, we can avoid that outcome.”
I narrow my eyes. “What do you mean?”
“Women in this life have more power than you think, Saoirse. Your mother has always listened for me, bringing me tidbits, gossip, and information that I can use. She goes to the parties, charity galas, and board meetings, and she brings back what I need to make others do what I want. You will do this for me too, but it’s Connor that you’ll be listening to and helping me learn how to manage him.”
I stare at my father. Connor’s words come back to me then—your loyalty will be to me, you won’t be your daddy’s mouthpiece anymore, your absolute loyalty... I realize then that he’d already seen this coming, that my father would try to use me as the bridge between him and Connor’s plans to run the Kings in his own way.
If I’m being honest, it repulses me. But I’m not about to let my father see that.
I can play this game just as well as the men if I need to.
“I don’t think Connor is the kind of man who can be easily managed,” I say carefully, and my father snorts.
“All men can be managed, especially by a beautiful woman.”
I narrow my eyes at him, biting back my frustration. “So what about you? Because I’m sure Connor has similar ideas, to use me and our father-daughter bond to manageyou.”
My father smirks. “I’m not like most men.”
It’s all I can do not to roll my eyes or retort that Connor, too, probably thinks he’snot like most men,because all powerful men do. But even after my father leaves, I can’t quite get it out of my head—because of all the men I’ve known so far in my life, Connor is the one I would be most likely to agree is not like other men.
Something that’s only confirmed when there’s a knock on my hotel room door later, and I open it to find a large silver box waiting for me.
Thank god my father wasn’t here to see this,I think as I pull it quickly inside, looking up and down the hall. I’m especially glad once I open it and see the card atop the white tissue paper in broad, thick handwriting that must be Connor’s.