I feel tears welling up as I clutch the note in my hand, spilling over my cheeks. “Please go away,” I whisper, looking at the phone. “Please leave me alone.”
I know he can’t hear me. And I’m not about to call him back. I don’t even know if the number he called me from is one that Icouldcall him from.
“Please—” I whisper again, and then I drop my face into my hands and start to cry.
---
I fall asleep again for a little while and wake with a start. I feel like I’ve been run over, my head aching, and my entire body tense, and it takes me a minute to slowly get out of bed. I jump every time I hear a sound that could be the phone as I’m dressing, and I reluctantly scoop it up as I head out to the kitchen, knowing I need it nearby in case Liam tries to call me.
When he does, I nearly leap out of my skin.
“Hello?” I answer it breathlessly, and I can almost hear his smirk on the other end.
“What were you doing, little lass? You sound out of breath.”
“Nothing—I just left my phone on the other side of the room.” I sink down onto one of the dining room chairs, swallowing hard. “Is everything okay?”
“Everything is fine—I just have to leave a bit unexpectedly for a business trip today. I’ll be home shortly to get some things to take with me.”
“Oh.” Disappointment washes over me, and I’m surprised by how strong it is. “Take me with you?”
He chuckles. “I wish I could, lass. I’ll be home soon, though, to at least give you a kiss goodbye before I go.”
I slowly set the phone down on the table when he hangs up, my stomach in knots. I wonder what would happen if I told him about the call—if it would make him stay. If he would put off the trip, to keep me safe from Alexandre.
But deep down, I don’t want to tell him. I don’t want something else to come between us, another reminder of my past—a past that affects him, too. I don’t want him to stay because of Alexandre.
I want our life to feel normal—as normal as possible.
I manage to eat breakfast, trying to ignore the phone. Still, I’m jumpy, and even when I try to read on the couch while I wait for Liam to come home, I can barely focus on anything on the page. When I hear the door open, I almost jump out of my skin again.
“Ana?” He looks at me quizzically as he steps inside. “You look pale. Are you feeling alright?”
“I—I had some bad dreams last night, that’s all. I didn’t sleep well.”
“After everything we did?” Liam crosses the room, coming to sit next to me on the couch and pulling me in for a brief kiss. “I’ll have to try harder next time, then.”
Normally, the words would send a rush of desire over me at the idea of what else he might do. But with the anxiety over Alexandre’s call still twisting my stomach, I can’t even summon the slightest bit of arousal.
“You’re leaving?” I look up at him, trying not to seem as upset as I am.
“Not for long.” He grins at me. “What, are you going to miss me?”
“A little,” I say quietly. “How long?”
“A week. Maybe a little more.” Liam frowns. “You’ll be okay here, Ana. I promise. Some of my security is going with me, but this building has always been safe. If you need anything, you can call Max—he’ll even stay over in the other guest room if you need someone close by. You’ll be okay. Go to your appointments, make sure youeat,” he emphasizes the last word, his hands sliding around mine. “And I’ll be back before you know it. We’ll go out somewhere, maybe, to celebrate me finishing this deal. You can pick anywhere you’d like.”
He kisses me again, and I can’t think of anything to say. He’s going to leave sometimes, I know that. He has a job to do, an organization to run. If I’m with him in reality, not just for a little while, it’s something I’ll have to get used to. And that, on its own, doesn’t upset me. I can be alone.
It’s the phone call. It’s the possibility that Alexandre could come for me while Liam is gone. And more than anything, it’s knowing that I can’t tell him. I don’t want to be a burden. I don’t want him to stay out of obligation, to feel that I’m keeping him from what he should be doing because he has to protect me.
I can’t live like that.
“Okay,” I whisper, squeezing his hands. “Just come back soon?”
“As soon as I can,” Liam promises, kissing me again. “I’m just going to pack,” he continues, standing up. “And then I’ll be heading out.”
I feel frozen to the spot as he retreats to his room, my heart pounding. I don’t want him to go, but I can’t make him stay. Not for this. Notlikethis.