I decide to go for the truth. Just this once.
“I don’t know,” I tell her honestly. “One of the members of the security team came to tell me what had happened. And when he said that someone had broken in, that you’d almost been killed—” I run a hand through my hair, feeling it stick up. “Something snapped inside of me. All I could think about was getting back home. Home—”
“Home to me,” Sofia says quietly. “That’s what you said last night. Right before—”
“If you’re regretting it, you can tell me.” I can hear my voice hardening. “I’m not going to go back on what I said, even after this incident. You can stay in your old room. I won’t touch you again if –”
“I don’t regret it.”
It takes a second for that to sink in. I turn towards her fully, the sheet pooling around my hips and sliding down my thigh. I see Sofia’s eyes flick downwards, her throat contract as she swallows, and my cock throbs traitorously at the thought of what it would feel like to have her throat squeeze around me like that, to have her swallow my cum—
“You don’t?”
“No.” She lifts her chin, and I can see a little of that old stubbornness shining through.
And it makes me hard as hell.Fuck, how does she turn me on so fucking much?
“I didn’t just sleep with you last night because I was feeling vulnerable,” Sofia says, crossing her arms over her chest. “I wanted to know what it would be like.”
“Oh.” I’m not sure why that stings a little. God knows I’ve fucked enough women out of sheer curiosity. “Glad I could be of service.”
“That’s not what I meant.” She chews on her lower lip, flushing a little. “I mean—I wanted to know what it would be like if we…if we actually tried.”
“Tried what?”
“This.” Sofia waves her hand in the space between our bodies. “Us.” She takes a deep, shaky breath. “Look, I know you probably just wanted to get laid last night. And I know that you didn’t ask for this marriage any more than I did. I realized that last night, talking to Caterina—you got dragged into this too. And you’re probably just as resentful of it as I am. But maybe—”
She looks up at me, and I can see how nervous she is. It occurs to me that I could make this easier on her, but I don’t even know what to say. Last night I hadn’t thought past my uncontrollable desire to consider what might happen in the morning.
In the cold light of day, Sofia is as beautiful as she ever was. And I want her as much as I ever have. But I know that marriage—a real marriage—is so much more than that. “I don’t want to be the kind of husband Rossi was,” I say, the words forming slowly. “I didn’t want to be a husband at all, for exactly that reason. I didn’t want to have a wife that I ignored, that I handed over the duties of house and family to while I continued to live the same way I always had. I wanted to be a bachelor because I didn’t want the guilt of being an absent husband.”
I take a deep breath. “I never gave much thought to marriage because I never thought it would happen. I never thoughtwewould happen—that particular debt was never supposed to come due.”
Sofia looks at me cautiously. “And now? If you were going to be a husband—what kind would you want to be?”
I consider that question. I don’t know where this conversation is going, but after last night, she deserves an honest answer at least. “Fair,” I say finally. “Loyal.”
“Kind?” Sofia smiles a little, her mouth twitching at the corners.
I let my gaze sweep over her body, allowing her to see the lust in my gaze. “Sometimes.”
She shivers, but the faint smile doesn’t leave her lips. “When you say loyal, do you mean—”
I reach for her then. I can’t help myself. I run my fingers through her messy hair, trailing the tips down her delicate jawline. “I meant what I said last night, Sofia. All of yesterday, the guys were harassing me to fuck someone. As many girls as I could, honestly. And I won’t lie to you—I tried to make myself do it. To fuck you out of my system, like I said.”
“But?” Her cheek tilts into my hand, her dark eyes never leaving mine.
“I couldn’t do it. All of those women—they were just like every other woman who’s ever been in my bed. Gorgeous, perfectly fit, willing to do anything I asked.”
“Luca—” Sofia winces. “Maybe I don’t need all the details.”
“Fair.” I chuckle. “The point is, Sofia, I only wanted you. The night before the funeral, when I left you here alone and stayed in a hotel? I wasn’t with another woman. I let you think that because I wanted there to be distance between us. But I spent the entire time thinking about you. Wanting you. Fantasizing about you.” I shake my head, my hand sliding down her jaw until her chin is resting in my hand. “I went a little crazy when I came home and saw that video. I wanted you so fucking bad, and to see you—”
“It’s okay.” She laughs a little, tugging her face out of my grasp. “If you couldn’t tell, I liked what you did to me.”
Fuck.My cock throbs under the sheet, rising just at the mention of that night. “Is that so?”
“I’ve liked everything you’ve done to me so far,” Sofia says softly. “Even if I didn’t want to admit it.”