“Just be careful.” She leans over, wrapping her arms around me in a tight hug. “Be smart. Don’t let your emotions get the better of you.”
I hug her back, clinging to her for as long as I can. She smells like her sweet vanilla perfume, and I’m taken back briefly to afternoons spent in her room while she got dressed for a date, or snuggling together on the couch watching a movie, or hanging out in the kitchen together trying to bake something new. An entire life, a friendship, pulled away from me in an instant. Luca might let her visit me still, or go out under heavy security, but it’ll never be the same.
“Come on,” Ana says, and I can see that her eyes are as misty as mine are. “Let’s get you dressed.”
* * *
An hour later,my hair is curled and pinned back and my makeup is applied, soft and rosy so that I look like I’m glowing. Ana zips up my dress and does every single one of the buttons down the back, and then slides a small gold and diamond comb into my hair, attaching the veil to it. “This was my grandmother’s,” she says. “You can give it back to me later, but for now it can be your something borrowed.”
The jewelry. That reminds me of Luca’s gift. “Thank you,” I tell her, turning gingerly in my high heels to hug her again. “My something blue is in those boxes.”
Ana’s mouth drops open when she flips up the lid on the smaller one. “Oh my god—these aregorgeous.”
“They were Luca’s mother’s,” I say softly. “He left them and the bracelet that matches last night.”
Ana looks as confused as I felt. “I don’t understand him,” she says, shaking her head.
“I don’t either.” I turn to face the mirror, pushing a stray curl out of my face. “But I’m marrying him today.”
By the time we’re done, I’m the vision of a perfect bride. The dress fits flawlessly, my hair and makeup are perfect, the diamonds and jewels at my ears and wrist and finger sparkle in the light, and the veil floats out behind me like a soft cloud of tulle.
I reach up, touching the cross at my throat, the only piece of jewelry I’m wearing that looks slightly out of place—although I couldn’t care less. “I wish my mother were here,” I say quietly. “And at the same time, I’m glad she’s not, so that she doesn’t have to know this is happening.”
“I’m so sorry, Sofia.” Ana looks as if she’s struggling to hold back tears. “I wish this could be a happy day for you.”
“I’m just glad you’ll be there at the ceremony.” I take a deep breath, looking in the mirror one final time. “Alright. Let’s go.”
I’m glad that I don’t have to worry about seeing Luca as we leave. The limo driver is waiting for us at the elevator, and the limo is in the parking garage, gleaming and black under the lights. Ana doesn’t bother getting out the champagne once we slide inside—neither of us feel like celebrating. Instead I watch the traffic slide past as we drive to St. Patrick’s, thinking about how I’m going to get through the next hour, the reception after that—and tonight. We’re staying at the Plaza Hotel tonight, along with the rest of the major wedding guests, and Luca informed me the day I signed the contract that we would have to spend the night in the same room, regardless of my conditions.
Even if he sticks to his promise not to touch me, I still have to spend an entire night with him. There’s no way out of that. It would bring up too many questions for me to have my own room, even if we spent enough time together in his to fake a consummation. I know there’s no chance of escaping that part of the night.
The sky is grey and cloudy as we step out of the limo, the cathedral looming over Ana and I as we walk up the steps. Caterina is waiting for us in the vestibule, wearing a deep blue lace gown and holding a bouquet of white roses and baby’s breath. She hands me a larger bouquet, looking at Ana nervously. “I’m sorry,” she says softly. “I’m supposed to stand up with her as her bridesmaid. It should be you, but—”
“Can’t have the Russian girl standing up in front of a cathedral full of Italian mafia,” Ana says dryly. “I get it.” She leans over, pecking me on the cheek before drawing the veil over my face. “You can do this, Sof,” she says gently. “You’re stronger than even you know.”
“Only because of you.” I squeeze her hand. “I’ll try to catch you before we leave the church. And I’ll see you soon, I promise. I won’t let Luca keep us apart.”
“I hope not.” Ana gives me a sad smile before slipping into the church to find her seat, avoiding Caterina’s eyes the entire time.
Caterina bites her lip. “I’m so sorry,” she whispers.
“It’s okay.” I take a deep breath, forcing a smile as I clutch the bouquet. “It’s not your fault.”
“I—”
Whatever Caterina was about to say is interrupted by Franco stepping through the doors. He whistles as he sees me. “I’ll never understand why Luca has such a long face right now,” he says with a laugh, reaching for Caterina’s arm. “Come on, love. I’ll escort you up.”
Caterina gives me a last tight smile as the wedding march begins, drowning out anything that either of us might say.
My heart is pounding in my chest as I wait for it to be my turn, my stomach twisting in knots.Don’t trip, I think wildly as I wait at the doors.Don’t cry.
Don’t be afraid.
I can see Luca when I start to walk down the aisle, carefully timing my steps to the music. I’m glad for that, it gives me something to concentrate on, but I can’t tear my eyes away from him. He looks more handsome than ever, tall and lean in a perfectly tailored charcoal suit, but his face is hard as stone. I can’t see any emotion there when I finally come to stand at the end of the aisle, hoping that my bouquet hides the trembling in my hands.
Father Donahue clears his throat as the music dies away. “Who gives this bride to be married?”
The words stick in my throat. For a moment I think that I won’t be able to speak, and my gaze flicks to Luca under my veil, wondering what he’s thinking. I remember his words from the night before.One phone call, and you would be dead.